My Little Black and Grey Dress

In the last couple of posts, I've been boasting about my new found pastime yet not once have I uploaded snapshots of the finished projects. Well in this post I'll be featuring my first garment making project. It's not really garment making cause the material used was originally a skirt I got from my BFF who lost 20 kgs and could no longer fit it. What made me hooked on to the skirt is the material and simple embroidery sewn on it. Because of my teeny size, I couldn't straight away put it on. I'd have to alter it so I could fit the skirt. It struck me then that to alter such beautiful fabric would mean cutting off a lot of it and the ones cut off would be of no use later. I then decided that maybe the best way to go about it, is refashioning it from a skirt to a short dress.

Before the sewing commenced, I'd never thought of the obstacles and challenges that I'd come across. Quite honestly I've always thought that garment making is easy cause I used to watch my aunt sew garments effortlessly. Thus, convincing me that sewing is easy and straight forward and everybody could sew given time to try a little bit of sewing. This project proves me wrong. Sewing I think is a skill that you develop overtime and demands a lot of patience.


It took me a good four months to finally complete this simple dress. It's such a long period ain't it to sew a dress? The long period is due to me putting off the project and moving on to work with other simple material like cotton and linen. There's nobody to blame other than myself. As a beginner I shouldn't have opted for this velvety fabric for it easily frayed no matter what you do to make it stay. There was a point when I nearly gave up working on it because of the countless re-sewing, re-cutting, re-seaming that had to been done. I only resume working on this dress a month ago when I realise that this beautiful fabric deserves better treatment than abandonment.

Mood swing

Recently I've been feeling down at work I think mainly because the thrill and excitement I used to feel is starting to wear off. I've recognised my working pattern. Every time I'm assigned a new task, I'd be very excited upon the thought of gaining new skill and knowledge at work. I'm always thrilled with the challenges that this new task would bring with it. After months of doing the same thing, and I know exactly what to expect or anticipate the cause of such outcome, I no longer find the job adventurous and in need of something new to excite me again.

Another contributing factor to my current misery is last Thursday's incident. The company that I work for had just opened up a new branch in the States and its operation is very much similar to the Head Office. Thus, the staff will be using the same system that we use here and they need to be trained and familiarised with it. As one of the account assistant explained all the different funtions available on the system, our Financial Controller then further added about the office's future plan for one of my colleague's career there. As soon as I heard this, I felt very demotivated to work anymore knowing the fact that they don't see me in their future plan. It hurts even more when I know that my colleague is less competent than me. I think they're oblivious of my true potential simply because I'm not a native speaker.

With the new company structure introduced early this year, I was moved to the Finance department due to my work nature that is seen as more finance-related. When I first moved there I was optimist that this is the move that'll guarantee a better career prospect. But the longer I spend time in Finance, the more I realise I don't belong in the department. Not because I'm incompetent or incapable of doing finance work but I just can't see where myself sit within the company structure anymore. I'm neither a retail team nor am I a finance staff. In simple word, I don't feel welcome in the company anymore.

I just don't understand why wouldn't they realise the importance of my role. If it wasn't for me, who would ensure the smooth flow of the system used by our retail shop, or monitor stock inventory, or help the shop out when the system freezes? My observation tells me that many of the staff there are not very computer literate. Even a spreadsheet with simple formula used would freak them out what more of complicated ones with formulas and functions that are rarely used. I'm proud to say that as an IT-graduate I know all Office applications like the back of my hand and not afraid of using new applications.

The other day I really felt like going up to my superior and express my dissatisfaction and my need of new assignment. I guess this urge for new thrilling and adventurous task is due to the fact that I'm no longer a twenty-odd employee. I've hit the THREE-O and I need to thrive and give my all out right now so that I'll be able to achieve my personal target within the next five years. My heart is bursting with frustation and grieve over my current employment that doesn't seem promising at the minute. These frustrations sometimes lead me to regret our move here. But when my better judgment is not clouded with grieve and sadness, I'm convinced that this move would guarantee a better placement when we return home for good as the employment experience here would work to my advantage. I could only pray to the Al-Mighty that my hopeful thinking would be blessed and granted someday.

Sewing away

Whoa! Will you just look at all these dust lying around this site? The owner must have forgotten about its existence altogether or simply not bothered to do some house-keeping for this blog. Yes, I know I’m wrong. And I also realise that it’s been ages since I last posted an update on this blog and I have absolutely no solid reason to uphold my innocence. I’m guilty as charged for abandoning this very dear journal of mine. To be quite honest, I no longer feel the same urgency as I used to when I first started blogging. I think I might be among the few who followed the big herd of blogging bubble but slowly drifted away from the herd as they become entangled with other things which urgently demand more attention in their daily routine.

Ever since I took over my superior's role as the lass who ensures the smooth running of the EPOS system, my mind's been loaded with boring work stuff that I needed to bring in something new to my rather mundane boring routine. That was when I persuaded my darling Fadz to present me with something that I’ve always wanted to have; a sewing machine. For as long as I can remember, I’d always had my eyes fixed on the physique, capability and functionality of a sewing machine. I was always amazed with the beautiful dresses and clothes that could be produced by this simple somewhat ancient gadget. I remember admiring every step that my mom and my aunt took in making a dress. I'd always wish to have one of this super machine so I could make my own one-off unique dresses as they're product of my own design and imagination.


Thus, for the last few months my new love sewing machine has enticed me from this humble blog of mine. In fact, my pastime is now occupied with working on sewing projects that I've long kept at the back of my mind. Some of you may wonder if I'm thinking of becoming a tailor or seamstress; no nothing like that. Let's just say that I've found a new hobby which not only fulfills the little girl's in me has been dreaming of doing but also satisfies my crave for new clothes. I enjoy every minute spend working on my new love despite the glitches and hiccups along the completion of any project. I must say though, things are easier said than done. There were a lot of things that I used to think would be easy to handle but not as easy as it may seem.

Take my first dress project, it took me months to finish it simply because I got fed up with the difficulty that I had to put up with. As frustration (and a lot of mistakes) filled up my head, I decided to put the project aside and work on other less complicated project with the hope of brushing up my new found skill and building up my confident. Upon the completion of my second project (after months of keeping the fabric in the drawer untouched) I thought I'm ready to re-visit my first project. And true to my instinct, I'd not only brushed up my skill but also gained more confident than the first day the project commenced.

You may wonder what's the hidden agenda beneath this long rambling? Is it just my way of sharing my personal experience and point of view on my new pastime? In part, yes, this is me sharing my new hobby but partially the difficulty and complication faced I think could be applied in project management. I know the volume of work involved could never match against big project which are by far more complicated and twisted in nature. But to me one of the vital things in project management is being resourceful in all aspects; manpower's knowledge & skill, materials' constraints and advantages, feasible timeline, and contigency plan. For those of you who are familiar with project management, you'll most likely be of the opinion that I'm rambling based on my personal view and not factual proven. Yes, you're right. This writing is supported simply by my own very little experience and limited knowledge. But then again, to me this little experience I gained has taught me that even though the work may seem simple, research and study still need to be completed to prep us up for any mischief along the project completion.

Adieu, Mummy!

How would you feel when you were woken up in the middle of the night by a telephone call only to be told that the woman who gave birth to you ages ago passed away? I bet most of you will be devastated, emotionally overwhelmed by this news and the only thing that you'd want to simply drop your mundane daily routine, and quickly dash off to bid adieu to this woman whom you dearly love; whom you refer to as Mama, or Ibu, or Mummy, or Mak or Umi.

I reckon your only thought is to be by her death bed in the soonest time so that you can have one last look at that motherly face of hers before it's sealed eternally under the coffin. The only problem now is you can't afford to reach the place immediately. You live miles and miles away from her and it'd take hours to finally get there. Your journey would suddenly seem longer than it used to. The knot of guilt and regret for letting your busy work life lead the way, leaving you very little time to spare with her might start to tighten up in your gut feeling.

Every mile of the way would be filled with moments spent with her; the good and the bad ones. You'd even wish that the clock would for once stop ticking and unwind to 24 hours earlier so you could be by her side and hear her last words of advise. But it's all too little too late now. She left when you least expected it. She was strong as a horse when you last saw her which is by the way nearly 12 months ago. You could weep as much as want, but every drop of the tears your shed would never bring her soul back into the body which you once shared for nine months. All you see before your very eyes is the lovely woman who'd sacrificed half her life to give you life, lying stiff in her bed like a stone.

Ever since I started living and working abroad, these thoughts would sometime linger at the back of my mind. And every time I ring home and I hear the voice of the woman I love so dearly, these thoughts would fade away. Recently though I begun to worry again when my colleague was shaken with the sudden death of her mother. Another colleague told us how they'd only been talking about her mother just a day before and how she wish she could afford to visit her mother who lives abroad more often. How would you feel if you'd just thought of visiting her tomorrow but she's no longer there today? The only thing one can do at this moment is pray, "Dear God, please take good care of this woman whom I love so much for she's my only mother" (sob).

I'm a hopper. Let me hop!

As the system progresses with time, the frequent glitches and hick-ups which occurred during the initial stage of system usage have now resided. And I in turn found myself less and less occupied at work. Through out my employment I tend to feel restless and bored every time the work load begins to be slowly lifted off my shoulder and I’m left to wander on my own. Personally I always think that the symptoms point only to one remedy; hunting down for a new job. Ever since I completed my undergraduate studies, I’d been a faithful job-hopper whose hopping pattern could clearly be seen in my resume. Somehow or rather I just couldn’t seem to stay put at a single work place for more than 18 months, and that’s the longest period of time I could hang on to an employer. My current employment is about to hit that magic number 18 and the tingling sensation of hunting for a new work elsewhere is getting stronger every day.

I’m amazed with those people who could stay loyal to a single employer for such a long time. Take my life partner, Fadz for instance. He’s been working with his current employer since 2006 and he hasn’t thought of finding a new place despite his nearly three-year’s stay. I couldn’t understand why I can’t show my loyalty to a particular employer. Like I’ve said whenever the excitement and adventure of the position started to wear off or I’m less regularly put on the alert radar, the urge of shifting to a new place would constantly linger in my mind. But in the current economic weather, I had no choice but to be patient and put up with the current lame position. Argh!

Hello 2009

Today is the fifth day in the new calendar. When most of colleagues at work happily chat about their New Year celebration, I on the contrary just don’t bother about New Year altogether. I’ve long abandoned the needs of renewing my New Year’s resolution since I left school. I remember during my schooldays, a lot of my friends believe that the New Year epitomises a starting point to be achieve goals that were not attained in the year before. As for me, New Year is nothing but another year passing in our life and a sign that every living creature will be one year older.

There are two things that I look forward in 2009 though, firstly, our trip back to Malaysia. After nearly one year and a half living far away from my large extended family in Malaysia, I’d finally be reunited with my beloved siblings, nephew and nieces. I really miss them all very dearly. As of now, Fadz and I have yet to confirm our departure date and soon we need to work on our itinerary during our stay. If possible, we want to make sure that every single day spends at home worths a thousand different memories which we'll cherish once we return to England. Secondly, I pray hard that there would finally be a silver lining to the current gloomy economic weather.

The big THREE-O

In less than a month’s time, the big three-O will be hitting me. I just couldn’t believe how fast time flies. It sometimes felt like it was only yesterday that I’d left the schooldays, joined the varsity took the plunge with the love of my live, got employed, and breed and raised our offspring. As mentioned in my previous post, being blessed with the little two angels-cum-rascals make me the proudest mum in the universe. Despite being blessed with a loving husband and healthy genius boys, I somehow feel like something big and important is missing from my life. And that something is my personal achievement as a working professional.

Through out my working years, I never had a clear vision of my career goal. Ever since I started being employed, if I was asked the question, “where do you see yourself in five years time?”, I could never provide a convincing answer to that question. Truth be told, I was never sure what I wanted out of each of the employment. In fact, all these years I’d never been bothered about the type of work or title of the post I held or if it’d help pave the path towards my dream career. All that mattered was, the amount of money received at the end of month that helped pay most of our financial obligations. Having family at a young age, left me and Fadz with no choice but to opt for any work that met our children’s growing expenses.

To be quite honest I really envy my life partner, Fadz, for the vivid vision that he has for his career prospect. He has my absolute respect every time I watched the determination that he puts in his work and the tireless efforts put forth in achieving the future that he dreams. I, on the contrary, am completely clueless of what I want as a working adult. With just a few days left in the year 2008 calendar, I become more restless as the vision of the big THREE-O hitting me become clearer. Not wanting to let the big question from eating my bubbly self up, I consulted my darling Fadz to shed some light into my cloudy mind.

After spending a whole night discussing the matter, I now have a better picture of my future career and what I’d need to do to reach for that dream. For the time being, I'm not going to unveil it here but I'm definitely putting down a plan to realise my hopeful thinking.

I'm on facebook!

I’ve just signed up on the infamous community network Facebook less than a week ago when Fadz invited me to join the network. Fadz finally decided to join Facebook a couple of months after not getting frequent update from his school mates from the other network that we both previously joined. Within the next couple of days after signing up, I was amazed at the many familiar faces whom I seem to have lost track of. All in all, I'm loving this new network community!

My anguish mind

I realise that I haven’t been keeping this blog updated as frequent as I used to. I don’t exactly know the reason to this. I remember putting the blame on Fadz when his stupid laptop crashed, and joyfully he conquered mine and took possession over it. A good person would never pin-point other for one’s wrong doing; instead one would find out one’s flaws and search one’s genuine strengths that will slowly minimise the weaknesses over time. What exactly am I rambling about? Where am I leading my fellow blog hoppers?

To be honest, I’m not quite sure myself but I know for certain that this whole thought about blaming others arise soon after Fadz lead me into a heated conversation about how I should run my life. I appreciate his honest intention of helping me to achieve my golden goal which I constantly shared with him. It’s just that, I hate being treated like nothing more than a pretty face with dumb head.

There are times when I feel like I should just give up trying to chase the career that I’ve always dream of. But that would only mean that I’m nothing but a loser who raises the white flag before even going into battle.

When I was in the midst of completing my MBA course, my only wishful thinking was to get employed within the Human Resource line. I always thought that that’s where my passion lies. I searched high and low for any HR related vacancy but I was turned down soon after the interview was over. Having disappointed so many times in chasing my dream of becoming a HR personnel, I was by then quite desperate to get myself employed. Fadz told me that may be it was best if I temporarily land myself a job within any line and from there I could work my way out into HR field again.

I took his advice and decided that if I were ever called for another job interview, I’d sell myself out regardless of the type of vacancy or field of expertise the post required. Eventually I was offered to fill a temporary position in an organisation whose office is situated within walking distance from our resident. The job was quite dodgy in the beginning where there was no proper training or guidance given to help me perform the work. But after a couple of months, my supervisor; Martin noticed that I’m not quite as dumb as he thought. He started to assign me with challenging task. I thought I’d give it a try but after working on analysis on my own without prior training, I began to wear out of the job. I’d even thought of quitting and finding work elsewhere.

Martin was taken shocked when he was handed with my resignation notice as he thought that I was doing really well at every task given. I told him that sales analysis was never a favourite subject of mine in school. With the clock’s ticking closer to my last working day, Martin persistently persuaded me to say on by sharing his stories about how he started working for the company, just the way I did. He said that the work that I do here is very interesting in nature as it requires a lot of critical and analytical thinking.

After four weeks of giving the job another go, I finally decided that it’d be best if I just stay on working for the company (assisted with a lot of pushing from Fadz of course). And within that period of time, I also began to prove myself worthy. Every task given was delivered spot on. With proven track record under my belt, Martin started to put me in charge of certain area of his responsibilities. It was not long before I finally gained Martin’s complete trust of my capability. He began to put me the second person in command whenever he was away from work. Before long, I was promoted from a lame temp to a Retail Analyst Assistant. The recent middle of October, marked my first anniversary working there. I must say that the job could be quite challenging at times. These challenges don’t seem to exhaust me somehow, instead they are the main motivating factor that drives me to work.

Despite the increased responsibility laid upon me, I somehow feel that my work lacks of something. I guess it’s probably because of the fact that things had quieten down a little in the office due to the fact that most of the people there have finally grasped the new system installed. More often than not, during this quiet time my head keep screaming that I needed more out of this job, not material wise but the kind of exposure it brings into.

I guess it’s time for me to try and reinstate the adventures that the job brings. I’ve been sleeping on this matter and exchanging thoughts with Fadz about it. We both agreed that my current post is the best spot to prepare me for a higher managerial post when we return to our homeland. To ensure that I’d be gaining the most out of my current employment, I must express my concern and personal goals with my higher superior. But during the time this update is posted, I think it’s best to keep it low as all directors are busy carrying out the redundant policy.

My children are my life

Since the very day I started having children of my own, my life literally resolves around them. I watched them grow up in front and observed how their demands change over time. I remember watching their favourite television programmes with them, singing along the theme songs with, and having to buy merchandise related to the show. Every single day of their childhood never failed to awe and amaze me with every little discovery they made.

In this update, I'd like to share the amazing talents that my children have. Let me first introduce my eldest boy. His given name is Azhan and he's now 7 years old. Azhan is a Year 3 pupil at St Luke's C.E primary school. Azhan's favourite colours are red, blue and purple. The most extraordinary thing about my darling Azhan is his artistic talent. At any pass time that he has, he'd always make drawing. Fadz said Azhan possesses a rather bold and daring stroke which could clearly be seen in all of Azhan's paintings. In this painting for instance, Azhan's stroke made the painting looked dramatic and alive.

I personally think Azhan is very creative; an attibute he takes after Fadz. Just look at this name plate that he made. Neither I nor Fadz could recall ever teaching or showing him how to make one but he creatively made one by combining plasticine of different colours.

I would never consider Azhan as a prodigy artist but he's just like any other boys of his age who still enjoys his play time with his little brother, Nine. Azhan's favourite toy is non other than the infamous Lego. Fadz just loves the way Azhan creatively built all the bricks and transformed them into something different than the Lego given manual.

It's time to introduce my next little rascal; Nine, a five-year old who's now in Year 1. Given name Zulkarnain but since the day he was born, we prefer to call him Nine. This youngest child of mine is very much like me in nature; chatty, bubbly and could easily become sulky. We also share the same interest; reading. Nine's linguistic ability has developed at the tender age of one. I'm always in awe at how quickly he picks up words taught in school. Even when he was in Foundation unit, Nine was already given the books for Year 1 pupils. I just love to listen to Nine's reading. He always reads stories enthusiastically; full of emotion and expression. He even makes different voices for different characters.
Despite his chatty nature, he usually shies away with any one new to him. But once he's got to know the person, he'd turn to his natural character.
There's another thing that Nine and I have in common, Maths. We both love learning Maths. Nine could quickly grasp any Mathematically concepts that his teacher taught in school. He'd usually share it with me as soon as he got back from school. I like the fact that Nine always finds ways of applying what he learnt in his play time.
All in all, I think that my children are genuinely genius in their own unique ways. I must say that my children are not only my life but my living pride (I'm sure every parent is proud of their children). I never regretted having them in my life. In fact their existence makes my life more interesting than ever.

My lil' project

A few months ago, I'd penned down a part of our England tour itinerary and I'd promised to resume my writing on our special tour. Somehow for some reason after pushing the special report a side for so long I'd completely forgotten about it. It wasn't my intention to abandon that special edition journal but the thoughts of the times spent with my folks here in England would only bring tears to my eyes and make me feel like returning home in the soonest time when I could hardly afford to do so.

On my parents' last day in Bury, my dad requested for all the photos taken during their special visit to be edited and compiled into a video for him to bring home and remember by. From the very day they departed for home up till the last couple of weeks I couldn't bring myself to fulfilling my promise. In the last few weeks, compiling the pictures and videos of my parents' visit has been the project that I worked full-time on as soon as I got home from work. I'd successfully edited nearly one-third of the project when suddenly the computer froze and all composition went hay-wired. It's nearly a week since then and I automatically felt put-off thus once again abandon my mission to granting my dad's wish.

Despite my misfortune of losing my invaluable project, I'd managed to publish a tiny portion of it. Here's a snippet of a small protion of my special project:-

I know the editing is far from the professional output, and as a once graduate of Multimedia Studies I should be embarassed of my little production. I should have been able to produce something better than this. Perhaps, it's time to polish up the video editing skill I picked up six years ago.

Post-Eid entry

Sebetulnye, sehari selepas Hari Raya baru ni I'd started drafting an entry in conjunction with the special celebration just for my own record of how I celebrated my 2nd Eid here. The only problem was, I could never get myself to finish the simple entry. The more I tried to write about Eid here the more teary my eyes became. I decided that it'd be best if the recent Eid festive is pushed aside from my memory hence resume my usual daily life here.

Summer is finally over. We're seeing less and less sunlight with every passing day as we head towards the Fall season. As mentioned in one of my previous entries, a lot of people think that those living abroad are very fortunate as they not only get to experience life in foreign soil but also associate the emigrants with lavish, luxurious lifestyle. I must say, a number of them do live lavishly but to me and Fadz that's not our main goal in being here. Our target is to obtain the best education for our boys which we know we could hardly afford. I'm not saying that the national education back home ain't good enough for them but our personal experience was a good evident that our boys deserve something better than what we had.

Last week, our children's school had organised parent evening as a way to update the parents on their children's progress in school. I was more than happy to be informed that they're both doing very well in class. The teachers also highlighted areas where the boys need to polish on. Within that less than 20 minutes meeting with their class teachers, I'm more convinced now that Fadz and I had made the right decision in paving our children's future path.

Azhan's first time fasting

As mentioned in my previous post, tahun ni tahun kedua menunaikan ibadah puasa di bulan Ramadhan bersama Fadz dan anak2. Azhan pon nampaknye sudah belajar berpuasa. But for the time being, we asked him to fast only on the weekend cause I think it'd be much easier for him to perform it while he's away from school and his non-Muslim class mates. Setakat ni, Azhan berjaya berpuasa penuh selama 4 hari. I know it may sound very little compared to young lads of his age back home in Malaysia. But do bear in mind that we're living in foreign soil where the Ramadhan fasting environment and spirit don't seem to exist at all.

I found it difficult to make Azhan understands the meaning and importance of fasting during the holy month. I remembered trying to explain to him about the rationale of performing this task as a Muslim on the previous Saturday. It was the first day that he started to experience the feeling of fasting for the entire day. His daddy promised him that if Azhan managed to fast from dawn till dusk, he'd reward Azhan £2 for each day. Azhan took up this challenge upon learning the reward should he succeed. But by mid-day after spending the entire morning walking from one shop to another doing our grocery shopping, Azhan started to plead if he could have a sip of drink. He kept complaining of how thirsty and starving he was.

I tried to comfort him by telling him the importance of performing of this rather difficult task. I told him that the Muslims been summoned to fast so that we'd realise how fortunate we are compared to those living in poverty whom couldn't even afford to buy food. My explanation might have sounded too grown-up for a seven-year old boy to comprehend that he kept asking when could he have a glass of water. Neither I nor Fadz gave-in to his pleading instead we pursuaded Azhan to lie down and have plenty of rest. We kept telling him it was just a few hours more to go for Iftar. Fadz had even diverted Azhan's focus from thirst and starvation to the reward that awaited him. I'm sure someday when Azhan is older, he'd have a better understanding of the concept of fasting.

Awa's visit

I should have written about Awa's visit since last week. But for some reason, I somehow couldn't get myself to writing. Perhaps Fadz's PC which constantly request for MS Word product key had put me off from noting down something special about her visit to Bury. Some of you may wonder, who exactly Awa is in my life. She is none other than Fadz's youngest sister aka my sis-in-law. She's a medical student studying in Dublin. Initially, we planned to pay her a visit cause by Spring 09 she'd be heading back to Malaysia for good. So, we thought that it's best to spend our boys' summer holiday in Dublin while Awa is still staying in Dublin. Unfortunately, our financial obligation didn't grant us our wishful thinking. We thought it'd be more economical if Awa came to our place instead.

I hadn't seen Fadz's lil sister for quite sometimes. If I'm not mistaken the last time I saw her was about a couple of years back before she left for Dublin. To be honest, I was never really that close to her as she's one of the quiet ones in his family. I think any wives in their rightful mind would be terrified about the idea of having their in-laws around especially those whom they'd never become close to. Somehow out of the ordinary, for this occassion I was excited about Awa's visit. In fact, I was looking forward to having her around.

Awa arrived at Manchester Airport on a Saturday afternoon. We took a bus to pick her up at the airport. If I recall correctly, she looked slimmer than I last pictured her. We stopped by the City for a while to do a little shopping and some window-shopping. Due to our petite nature, we found it hard to find clothes that perfectly fit us. We then headed home and had dinner which I'd prepared before we left for the airport.
On the following day, I took Awa to our little town to shop for some clothes. For once in my lifetime here, I had a shopping buddy who was more than happy to tag along my shopping journey. To be quite frank, I didn't shop anything for myself. It was more of a shopping treat for Awa. But I did have a wonderful time going from one shop to another and looked for the perfect dress and shoes for Fadz's sister. I didn't mind spending for her in return for the good deed that Awa did for us during her fortnight stay in Bury. She had helped baby-sit our two boys, walked them to and from school. And because of that I think she deserved to be treated with some shopping spree in our little town Bury.

Awa had returned to Dublin about three weeks ago. I kinda miss her company somehow especially during this fasting period. Sigh

Ramadhan datang lagi

Hari ini masuk hari ke5 berpuasa untuk Ramadhan tahun ini. Tahun ini juga merupakan tahun ke2 aku berpuasa di perantauan bersama suami dan anak-anak. Unlike other school children back home in Malaysia, An dan Nine masih belum diajar berpuasa dan kewajipan berpuasa. My hubby and I have been thinking about exposing An to the concept of fasting, tapi mungkin sekadar hari minggu sahaja sebagai melatih An untuk berpuasa. Inilah setback hidup diperantauan yang majority penduduknya non-Muslim. Suasana berpuasa bagaikan tidak wujud sama sekali. Hiruk pikuk pasar ramadhan sebaik habis waktu pejabat jauh sekali. Jauh di sudut hati ini, timbul juga rasa rindu pada masakan mak, suasana berhimpun kami adik-beradik untuk berbuka puasa bersama. Entah bila agaknya dapat merasai itu semua kembali.

If this year’s Ramadhan is my second time fasting here, it’ll be the third year in a row for my hubby. I’m sure he feels the same way about being away and having to spend our Ramadhan so far away from our close families back home. Pada awalnya, we’ve been planning to celebrate the end of next year’s Ramadhan in Malaysia thus reuniting us with our whole family for Hari Raya. Tapi disebabkan ada ahli keluarga yang besar kemungkinan akan melangsungkan perkahwinan dalam suku pertama tahun depan, jadi niat untuk beraya beramai-ramai terpaksa dibatalkan. Tak mengapa lah, barangkali lain tahun baru dapat beraya bersama mak abah dan adik-adik.

To all my friends back home in Malaysia, I'd like to wish "Selamat berpuasa. Moga ibadah tahun ini lebih baik dari tahun-tahun lepas"

Make over

I've planned to give my personal journal a face-lift for ages now. In fact, I've been begging my ever-loving spouse to design a new look for "Bed of Roses" since the past few months. Honestly, not having my wish granted was the main reason why I decided to boycott this blog from being updated. After months of persistent begging and appealing for a new face, I've finally gotten the make over that this page deserves to have. I know the colour scheme may look a little too feminine to some people but personally I think the colour really suits the blog name, Bed of Roses.
Some of you gentle readers might wonder why this piece of webpage is named the way it is now. Some may even wonder if it carries a certain meaning with it. To be frank, I never knew the exact definition of the term 'Bed of Roses' but the main reason why I chose this title was plainly because I am a big fan of the flower Rose. I simply love roses not just for its very attractive looks but also the sweet alluring smell that it carries with it. Coincidentally, according to my dad my given name in arabic means roses. I thought to myself, what better way to describe this little collection of writings than Bed of Roses which I happen to have likened from the moment I first heard of it.

Although the meaning of this connotation does not mirror the primary contents of this webpage which focuses on the ups, downs, twists, and turns in mylife as a wife, mother, daughter, or simply as a lady; the definition of 'Bed of Roses' is a clear reflection of my true colour. I'm not afraid to admit that I'm the kind of person who loves trouble free mind. I could never carry huge burden on my own, I'd always have to share the weight with my life partner. I guess that could have been why this blog was initially set up; a place for me to pour myself out as and when I please.

So, to my faithful gentle readers I hope that you agree with me on the new look of this page. But, if you don't, I'm always open for other suggestions as I'm thinking of giving yet another face lift to Bed of Roses during the winter season.

My first anniversary

It's been months since the last time I updated this blog of mine. Looks like it's cobwebbed everywhere and there's gonna be lot of dusting off to do to make this blog ship-shape again. Anyhow, truth to tell, the reason for my long abandoning this blog from being updated is that I've been preoccupied following some programmes on the telly. Another contributing factor is that my precious laptop's been snatched by someone at home whose notebook's crashed and decided to use mine instead to keep his blog updated from time to time. Still, I should never use these excuses from updating this journal.

July 7th marked my 1st anniversary of living in England. 1st anniversary means a lot to me as it clearly indicates that I've successfully gone through the full cycle of the four seasons that the English faces every year. I remember when I first started working here sometimes in October 07, my superior told me that the most common subject that one can use as an ice-breaking conversation is the weather. I was puzzled back then as to why the English can be a little obsessive about their so-called English weather. Having completed the full cycle, I begin to understand why the weather is such a hot topic around here.

Picture this, you were waken up by the bright sunlight that went through your big window frame. You became thrilled and excited upon the sight of promising sunshine as you haven't seen that sunny ray of light for the past couple of days. The first thing that popped into your mind is you no longer need to wear long sleeves shirt to work cause you assume it'd be boiling hot in the office that day. Once you prep yourselve for work, finished up your bowl of cereal, grabbed your sandwich and opened the door to head for the office, that ray of sunlight had been blocked by dark clouds in the sky. From that moment on, that feeling of silver lining you had earlier slowly diminished as you grabbed your foldable umbrella and put your light jacket on. That's how miserable the English weather can be at times. It can change dramatically within the 24 hours period that you have in a day. So, if you happen to have the chance to visit England in the summer, be prepared to have a light jacket in one hand and an umbrella in another cause you'd just never know when one of them will come in handy.

Acorns don't fall far from the oak tree..

Last Sunday, my hubby and I took our two boys to an optician centre to get their eyes checked after hearing comments from their respective teachers about them squinting their eyes whenever they were asked to read the board from afar. We made appointments for both of them with the optician. They took turn to get their eyes checked and I accompanied them both during the whole process. After doing a thorough check on their eye vision, the optician confirmed and recommended that they are both short-sighted just like me and my dear hubby. I was quite astonished to learn that my two boys would be needing spectacles at a very young age. They are only five and seven years old. I remember having perfect eye-sight up till I was 17. I only needed a pair of glasses only a year after registering myself to a reputable grammar school. It was shocking when I was informed that my eldest son would need to wear spectacles with similar prescription as mine.

In contrast to my surprise upon learning of my children’s short-sightedness, my two boys were thrilled and excited about needing to wear a pair of glasses. My eldest straight away went to the samples of frames displayed for children as soon as he stepped out of the examination room. About half an hour later, right after my youngest boy had his eyes checked, his elder brother, Azhan led Nine to the display wall and showed Nine the frame that Azhan had chosen thus sweet-talked Nine to choose one similar to his which is labelled with cartoon characters that they adore; Batman and Superman. Honestly, my hubby and I didn’t approve the type of frames they chose mainly because they are steel-based which we thought could easily get damaged by our active kids. Looking at their faces that glow with joy and excitement, my hubby and I had no choice but to give in and let them have what they had picked.

My boys were even more thrilled and excited when they finally got their glasses last Wednesday. Look, how happy and cute they are with their new spectacles. I guess, “acorns don’t fall far from the oak tree” after all.

A trip to Remember...

About a week ago my mom and dad were here in England visiting us. They spent a fortnight here. Their only intention was to stay in our humble place and spend the whole period of couple of weeks at our place. Never had they known that my hubby and I had arranged ahead a plan of taking them places around England. Personally I thought one’s visit to England is incomplete if one doesn’t go and see all the main attraction and historical places that England has to offer. Thus, my hubby and I took the whole week off during my parents’ stay to (1) spend time with them, (2) take them and our children for a tour around England. Initially, I thought of taking them to Scotland coz’ my dad wished to see the snow and the northern Scotland is the land blessed with snow almost all year round. But after further discussion with my hubby, we finally decided to drive them down South of England since my hubby has a number of friends staying down South. A few days prior to my parents’ arrival, me and my hubby had it all figured out of the whereabouts of our trip.

Details of our trip are elaborated in the following itinerary:-

Day 1: Saturday, 22nd March, Lake District

For the first day of our trip, my hubby thought that it was best to take them up north before we headed down south. Thus, our first stop was the infamous Lake District. It was rather chilly that Saturday morning. As soon as we walked towards the lake, the wind blowing was even chillier. I could feel my teeth chattering as we walked along the lake side. My boys were thrilled upon seeing the friendly swan lakes and ducks trotting by our side asking for food. My two sons quickly took out the loaf of bread that we brought purposely for feeding the birds there. We then took our boys and my parents for a boat ride around the lake which we thought would warm up my parents a little. Once we get on board and the boat headed towards the open lake, we were accompanied by the beautiful sceneries that the lake has to offer. We were astonished by the picturesque view as the boat took us around the lake.

Day 1: Saturday, 22nd March, Blackpool


Our second stop for the day was Blackpool which was only 45 minutes drive from the Lake District. Blackpool was crowded with people craving for entertainment since this place is filled with the many amusement centres for the young and adult alike. This statement about the crowd in Blackpool was evident when we had a hard time finding for a parking spot. It was drizzling in Blackpool when we first arrived. The Blackpool tower somehow in presence looks similar to the Eiffel tower except that the one in Paris is much higher and carries more prestige with it. Knowing that Blackpool is located within the coast line of England, we headed for the sea side and walked along it. It brought joy to our little ones upon seeing the sea side. To my boys, a visit to beach would only be perfect if they could get their hands dirty with the sand in the beach!

Day 2: Sunday, 23rd March, Bury was covered in snow


Bury was blessed with snow yet again. I guess God heard my dad’s wish and decided to turn it into a reality. I could tell my dad’s excitement when he woke us up as early as dawn which was soon after he realised that the streets where we live in were covered white. Upon hearing the word ‘snow’ my little boys jumped out of bed, put on their cold weather clothes and dashed out to get their hands on the white snow. My dad was ultimately happy that his excitement could be shared with his grandsons. Without a second thought, my dad joined my boys in our little garden to feel and touch the snow for the very first time in his entire life. I was very glad and happy that dad has finally got what he wished for in his visit to England. Thank you, the Almighty.

Day 2: Sunday, 23rd March, RAF Museum Birmingham


After snapping some photos of us in the snow, we left Bury to head towards our first stop down south of England; Birmingham. The idea of taking my parents to the RAF Museum came about after my hubby’s first visit there with his fellow colleagues. We were glad that the first stop was not a disappointment to my dad. In fact, he seemed to be engulfed in the many airplane models exhibited there. My boys were excited too especially my eldest. He was even thinking of making an airplane model. In fact, soon after we left the museum my eldest son made a detailed drawing of one of the flights.

Day 2: Sunday, 23rd March, Warwick Castle


This destination was rather a last-minute stop that my hubby decided to include in our itinerary. It was one of the castles around England that is well kept and preserved. It was not just a ruin of the late royalty but a palace filled with activities similar to those of the ancient day. I overheard one of the visitors there explaining to her daughter that the many activities featured could help expose and educate the young ones to years of feudal and how the people during those time lived their daily routine. I was dazzled by the vast compound of the castle which is on the contrary to the size of the staircase within the castle. I could hardly imagine how the king’s men (whom I assumed were gigantic in nature since they had to carry on heavyweight armour around them to battle) walked through the tiny flight of stairs. I must say, it was a destination filled with education.

Day 3: Monday, 24th March, Bath, Avon


From Warwick, we drove further down south to Bath, place nicked as the Roman City. In Bath, we spent the night at one of my hubby’s school mate who has been residing in England since she pursued her studies. I was quite excited about meeting my hubby’s friend who is expecting a baby soon. Ain and Syed had thrown us a very warm welcome. After indulging in the heavenly dish of nasi lemak, the parents-to-be took us for a walk around the little town they live in. My hubby and I couldn’t help but admire the unique architecture featured here. My mom on the other hand fell for the wild flowers blooming in the garden especially the sakura-like flower. She even wished that she could bring those beautiful wild flowers home to Malaysia. After our morning stroll in the little town of Ain and Syed’s, we bid farewell and resume our trip.

Day 3: Monday, 24th March, New Quay, Cornwall


I personally love the drive from Bath to Cornwall. It was one of the most exciting driving range ever. I remember being accompanied by picturesque view along the way to Cornwall. The road was filled with beautiful sceneries of the country side that was beyond my wildest imagination. The God’s beauty around me had defeated the fatigue-ness that I felt from driving, in fact I was wide awake along the way there. My boys on the other were only excited about the thought of going to a sandy beach. Their only wish was to make sand castle. Upon the sight of the blue wave hitting the sandy beach, my boys got thrilled. They quickly dashed out of the car as soon as the car halted and headed towards the nearest beach. They collected many sea shells buried under the sand to be brought home as mementoes for our visit. I made a vow that I would take my sons to Cornwall again coz we spared very little time at this beautiful beach.

Day 3: Monday, 24th March, Plymouth


From Cornwall, we drove further down south to Plymouth where one of my undergraduate course-mates is staying. Once again, our journey there was escorted by one of the many God’s wonderful crafts. As we got closer to our destination, we were blown by a wonderful surprise; a ferry ride to Plymouth. My sons were so excited when they got to know that we would go on a ferry to cross the Portsmouth Harbour. My little boys always thought that they could only ride ferry whenever they visit their great-grandparents in Penang. I reckon it had never occurred to them that they could experience a thrilling ferry ride in England as well. (to be continued...)

Thank you, Umei

This post is solely dedicated to my coursemate, Umei whom I have recently met at her residence in Plymouth. It's been ages since the last time I met her during our years in the varsity. According to my somewhat absent-minded memory, I had come to know Umei through our Art & Graphic group project. I remember thinking of her as a very religious person from the way she dressed. It never occurred to me that she's a bubbly and easy-going type of person until the day we officially engaged with the Art & Graphic project. Umei is the friendliest person I've met, not to mention a chatter box too.

p/s: thanks for letting us stay at ur place, Umei. we'll definitely visit u again someday.