Have you ever been haunted by feeling of guilt and regret for very important life decisions? Do you wish that you could unwind the clock, turn back to the time when you were about to make the decision, and undo the steps that you’d taken? Last night, I’ve been thinking about the events that took place in my life that had taken me to where I am today. I felt regret about most of the events. I have just come to realise that I’ve made a lot of stupid mistakes through out my life.
The first biggest mistake that I did was back in 1995, when I registered to a science boarding school. It was a compulsory for all the students to take up 10 subjects for the MCE exam. I was told that pure science students were given choice of either to take up Geography or Principle of Account as the tenth subject in the MCE exam. Please be reminded that this choice was only offered when we had been taught Geography half way through the semester. About half of the science stream students decided to gave up Geography subject and learn the Principle of Account. As for me, I thought that it’d be wiser to continue learning the subject since Geography had been taught since we were in Form 1. It didn’t turn out positive, I did badly for the paper and those who took Account got better results and the subject actually helped to boost their aggregate. I really regretted that I didn’t take Account because all this while I know that I do much better with subject that involve numbers. I’ve come to understand that those who took Account had more choices in field of studies selection to further their studies.
With a 9-aggregate for MCE, I got an offer to join one of the matriculation centers not far from my parents’ place. After the registration, I had come to understand that the students there were the selected ones, ie those with excellent result, mostly a 6-aggregate MCE holder. As an average student, I wasn’t good enough to be joining the crème of the cream. Almost 95% of them were true geniuses. I was always left in the dark when they could easily understand all the subjects taught. Despite this, I ended up with a three-pointer result. Once the programme was completed, I then had to make another important decision in my life, ie choosing my degree course.
This decision was the biggest step that took me to where I am currently. I was clueless in making up my mind over the courses offered. At first I thought of taking up engineering coz all this while I really enjoy learning subjects with a lot of numbers and principles in them. But a close cousin of mine said that engineering field isn’t meant for girls, and he suggested that I took Information Technology instead. Knowing that he used to study IT in college, I decided to go with his advice.
During my second year of studying IT, I started to realise that I didn’t have passion in the field instead I fell for literature. At this point, I thought that I’d be better off in the literature line. I voiced my decision to a close lecturer and my boyfriend (at present, my hubby), both disapproved it. They advised me to complete my degree course and said that I could divert to another line of studies during my masters degree (if I were to further my studies). It took me four years to finish my 1st degree when most of my coursemates managed to do it within three years. Studying something out of passion, what do you expect?
After graduation, time to get myself a job. At this point, I was fortunate compared to a number of my close friends. The good command of English was a credit for me to be employed. My first job didn’t involve much IT in it. So did my second employment. The first two employments dealt a lot with teaching people. At this point, I still I failed to realise that I have passion in communicating with people because I could naturally connect with them. Due to some mishaps, I decided to move on and thought that it was time for me to put my line of studies to practice. So, I got a job that dealt with IT after all but in the end I gave up practicing IT coz it didn’t suit me at all. I wasn’t meant to be doing the same thing over and over again, I couldn’t handle the pressure of doing the same task again and again. That was when I realized that I was much better off at my old workplace dealing with people. I really missed my old workplace, too bad that the department had been shut down due to disastrous management issues.
After a few months of heartaches with the IT thingy, I finally found a job in Cyberjaya, a job with my passion in it. Even though my current job doesn’t involve as much people compared to my second employment, it opens up opportunity for me to connect with the people on the floor.
I guess my life was always about experimenting and trying out things. I must admit that I keen to learn new things every day but I easily felt bad about myself when I experiment things that weren’t meant for me. This reminded me of an interview session I attended. The interviewer asked me where do I see myself in 5 years time. I was clueless then. Before I could speak up my mind, he jumped to conclusion that I’d end up being a mother of 5 with nothing much to be proud of. I was so pissed off back then. But today, when I finally come to my senses and analyse what he said, I still don’t have a clue of where I’ll be in five years time. My only target is to be wealthy someday, but I’m still trying to figure out the method to achieve this target.
I hope that I’ll be much wiser in making decisions. I realise that I couldn’t dump 100% of my problems and decision-makings to my hubby. I must grow up! I may be more than a quarter decade old, but my thinking doesn’t reflect my age. Sometimes I felt like I’m a sixteen-year-old girl trapped in an adult body. I’ll have to find a way to fix my own problems. God, please help me go through this long, winding journey of life.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Monday, September 26, 2005
Another family affairs
It's been a while since the last time I updated my blog. The main reason: I didn't know what to type in, not much happened in my life ever since the last post, just normal routine I guess.
Yesterday, or last weekend I went to my parents' place just like my normal weekend ritual whenever my hubby had unsettled matters at work. After dropping my hubby at his office, I headed straight my parents' place with my two boys. As soon as I got there, my mommy asked me to send her to my aunt's place after Asar prayer to return the baju kurungs that she helped out with the stitching.
Once, we've all performed the Asar prayer, we were off to my aunt's place but prior to that, we dropped off my sister at the nearest bus stop. My sister had to get back to her college by 8.00pm. We arrived at my aunt's place at around 6pm. My aunt asked my mom to cook her heavenly “mee goreng basah” recipe. Once, we were done with all the cookings, we were all ready to stomach in the tasty mee goreng. This was when the interesting part peeped in.
My aunt told my mom about the latest news on their father ie my grandpa. Before I proceed with the details of my grandpa’s condition let me just highlight my closeness to him. I never really favour him when I was young compared to my late grandma, you see my late grandma was the one who baby-sat me most whenever my mom was 'unfit' to function as a mother. I won't elaborate more on my mom's 'unfitness'. Back to my grandpa, I always knew how much he loves my late grandma, he loves her so much that he chose not to re-marry even though it's been six years since my late grandma passed away. I remember how he used to tell me of all the details about their love for each other back in my school days, this was when I was schooling in the northern region. I was always touched by their wonderful love story and I've always expected how his life is gonna be like if my grandma 'left' him. My prediction was true, he's been dreaming of her ever since my grandma’s death. The last time I visited my grandpa was last year, a few days after raya, I've never contacted him since then.
My aunt said lately, none of my grandpa's children ie my aunt & uncles who are living nearby had never even bothered to pay a visit. I always knew that most of them have a lot of misunderstandings & controversial matters with my grandpa but I've never thought that they would go to the extreme of abandoning him. It's fortunate that an uncle & his family are still living with my grandpa, he's the only person that my grandpa could express his feelings to. The saddest part was, when my aunt told us of how my grandpa had to "tebalkan muka" & visit my uncles & aunt, when they should be the ones who visit him.
I was deeply touched with this latest news. How could they treat him that way? In his golden ages, all he wants is some sense of affection & love from his sons & daughters. I know how my uncles & aunts always fight each other over my grandpa’s wealth. I understand how lonely his life is right now, especially with my grandma’s absence. For years, he's been talking about his death, he told me once how he longed to die just to be with his loving wife, my grandma. I couldn't stop the tears from running down my cheeks as I was typing this entry. I could imagine how would it feel like to be left out by your loved ones.
As soon as I got home, I told my hubby about this news, and how I desperately need to see my grandpa. I could clearly recall the day he sent me back to my hostel, how he guided me thru the route back to my hostel from his home, so that I wouldn't have to rely on him whenever I felt like visiting his home. My grandpa always taught me how to be independent, how to face life, how to be successful in life, how to tough. I guess that is why he was always strict with his children. I remembered how he likes to tell me stories about how things were back then, how he scolded my uncles and all, and this fact will always remain in my mind, he said something like this, “of all my grandchildren, you are the ones who enjoyed listening to my lectures & stories”. He said this when my sister and I were still young girls.
p/s: I really need to see my grandpa (sobbed). I wanna tell him how much I love him. I wanna thank him for all the things that he taught...
Yesterday, or last weekend I went to my parents' place just like my normal weekend ritual whenever my hubby had unsettled matters at work. After dropping my hubby at his office, I headed straight my parents' place with my two boys. As soon as I got there, my mommy asked me to send her to my aunt's place after Asar prayer to return the baju kurungs that she helped out with the stitching.
Once, we've all performed the Asar prayer, we were off to my aunt's place but prior to that, we dropped off my sister at the nearest bus stop. My sister had to get back to her college by 8.00pm. We arrived at my aunt's place at around 6pm. My aunt asked my mom to cook her heavenly “mee goreng basah” recipe. Once, we were done with all the cookings, we were all ready to stomach in the tasty mee goreng. This was when the interesting part peeped in.
My aunt told my mom about the latest news on their father ie my grandpa. Before I proceed with the details of my grandpa’s condition let me just highlight my closeness to him. I never really favour him when I was young compared to my late grandma, you see my late grandma was the one who baby-sat me most whenever my mom was 'unfit' to function as a mother. I won't elaborate more on my mom's 'unfitness'. Back to my grandpa, I always knew how much he loves my late grandma, he loves her so much that he chose not to re-marry even though it's been six years since my late grandma passed away. I remember how he used to tell me of all the details about their love for each other back in my school days, this was when I was schooling in the northern region. I was always touched by their wonderful love story and I've always expected how his life is gonna be like if my grandma 'left' him. My prediction was true, he's been dreaming of her ever since my grandma’s death. The last time I visited my grandpa was last year, a few days after raya, I've never contacted him since then.
My aunt said lately, none of my grandpa's children ie my aunt & uncles who are living nearby had never even bothered to pay a visit. I always knew that most of them have a lot of misunderstandings & controversial matters with my grandpa but I've never thought that they would go to the extreme of abandoning him. It's fortunate that an uncle & his family are still living with my grandpa, he's the only person that my grandpa could express his feelings to. The saddest part was, when my aunt told us of how my grandpa had to "tebalkan muka" & visit my uncles & aunt, when they should be the ones who visit him.
I was deeply touched with this latest news. How could they treat him that way? In his golden ages, all he wants is some sense of affection & love from his sons & daughters. I know how my uncles & aunts always fight each other over my grandpa’s wealth. I understand how lonely his life is right now, especially with my grandma’s absence. For years, he's been talking about his death, he told me once how he longed to die just to be with his loving wife, my grandma. I couldn't stop the tears from running down my cheeks as I was typing this entry. I could imagine how would it feel like to be left out by your loved ones.
As soon as I got home, I told my hubby about this news, and how I desperately need to see my grandpa. I could clearly recall the day he sent me back to my hostel, how he guided me thru the route back to my hostel from his home, so that I wouldn't have to rely on him whenever I felt like visiting his home. My grandpa always taught me how to be independent, how to face life, how to be successful in life, how to tough. I guess that is why he was always strict with his children. I remembered how he likes to tell me stories about how things were back then, how he scolded my uncles and all, and this fact will always remain in my mind, he said something like this, “of all my grandchildren, you are the ones who enjoyed listening to my lectures & stories”. He said this when my sister and I were still young girls.
p/s: I really need to see my grandpa (sobbed). I wanna tell him how much I love him. I wanna thank him for all the things that he taught...
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
My 1st Love Letter
This morning while I was driving to work, I listened to ERA.fm. As usual, they would bring up a topic for listeners to send in stories relating to the topic of discussion and today’s topic was LOVE LETTER. I smiled listening to all the unique storied sent in. I’d really want to share my love letter story with the listeners but due to some mishaps I couldn’t do so.
Today I’d like to share my very 1st love letter with those who visit my blog. It happened more than a decade ago, 12 years to be precise. I was only 14 and still studying in form two when I got the letter. I could clearly recall the day I got the letter from this guy who used to sit beside me when we were in form one. It was Ramadhan, the fasting month was about to end. With the festive season just around the corner, all schools were scheduled for Aidilfitri break in a few days time. The Persatuan Agama Islam in my school decided to organize a Majlis Berbuka Puasa on our last day fasting in school before all students went off for the one-week school break. The ceremony started about half an hour before Maghrib prayer. After breaking fast during Maghrib, we enjoyed the meal prepared followed by performing the Maghrib prayer, after that followed by the Isyak prayer and lastly the Terawih & Witir prayers as all Muslims practiced in Ramadhan.
Once the ceremony was over, I packed my stuffs before my mom fetched me at school. While I was rushing down the stairs, this guy came to me, handed me an envelope and wished me Selamat Hari Raya. I presumed it was just a Raya greetings card coz I remembered he had done so the year before. But frankly, my heart pounded harder than normal when he approached to give me the envelope.
As soon as I got home, I quickly ran to my room & carefully unsealed the envelope. My assumption about the card being ordinary greeting card was wrong. It was a Raya greeting alright, but it was attached with a straight forward love letter. I read the letter line by line; he described his feelings towards me. I’d always knew that people like to teas us, they kept saying that we had feelings for each other ever since we sat next to each other in class when we were in form one, but I’d never thought that the teasing was for real especially the part where he had feelings for me.
After reading the letter, I didn’t know what to do with it. At first, I thought of replying the letter but I wasn’t sure how to write or what to write. The memory of me celebrating the festive season was very vague. A week had past, the school break was over, and I was still not sure what to do with the letter. I went to school as usual on the following day, but this time the feelings of guilt was haunting me. How could one react towards a classmate who handed you your very first love letter? I kept the letter for at least one week (I don’t really know for sure how long I kept it). I was clueless, I didn’t know how to react every time I saw him in class. His place was only one desk across me. I never talked to him since then, at last I decided to return the letter to the sender. This is another part that puzzled me, I wasn’t sure when or how or what should I say if I were to return it. The best way that I could think of was to put the envelope into the drawer of his desk. I was never sure when did he realize about its presence in his drawer & I didn’t intend to know.
A few months later, I heard that his family was shifting to Penang, his hometown. I never asked a thing about his move to Penang. Our class monitor had decided to throw a farewell party for him to acknowledge his contributions for helping us to beautify our class and won the weekly cleanliness award. I could clearly recall how I refused to attend the party just to avoid him and to show that no matter what happened I would stick to my decision of turning him down. With a number of people persuading me to go to the farewell party, I finally gave in. I even gave my photo to be enclosed in the photo album present that our class bought for him.
I vividly remember how my classmates tried so hard to snap a picture of us together and how they organized games for us to be playing together. Did I mention that I hate this guy? I hated him so much that I used to tell my little sister how I hated every single thing that he did. I even made fun of the way he walked. When I come to think of it, I never really had a valid reason for the strong hatred towards him.
Some of you may wonder, what happened to this guy that I hated so much? Guess what? The guy is the person that I’m living with; the guy that I hated is the same old guy that I married five years ago. I’ve never thought that we would end up marrying each other. It had never occurred to me that I’d be spending the rest of my life with the guy that I hated the most. That’s fate & life. Quoting from friend’s blog, “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans”.
p/s: The love letter is still intact, he’s been keeping it with him all this while. We are keeping it safe for our children to read.
Today I’d like to share my very 1st love letter with those who visit my blog. It happened more than a decade ago, 12 years to be precise. I was only 14 and still studying in form two when I got the letter. I could clearly recall the day I got the letter from this guy who used to sit beside me when we were in form one. It was Ramadhan, the fasting month was about to end. With the festive season just around the corner, all schools were scheduled for Aidilfitri break in a few days time. The Persatuan Agama Islam in my school decided to organize a Majlis Berbuka Puasa on our last day fasting in school before all students went off for the one-week school break. The ceremony started about half an hour before Maghrib prayer. After breaking fast during Maghrib, we enjoyed the meal prepared followed by performing the Maghrib prayer, after that followed by the Isyak prayer and lastly the Terawih & Witir prayers as all Muslims practiced in Ramadhan.
Once the ceremony was over, I packed my stuffs before my mom fetched me at school. While I was rushing down the stairs, this guy came to me, handed me an envelope and wished me Selamat Hari Raya. I presumed it was just a Raya greetings card coz I remembered he had done so the year before. But frankly, my heart pounded harder than normal when he approached to give me the envelope.
As soon as I got home, I quickly ran to my room & carefully unsealed the envelope. My assumption about the card being ordinary greeting card was wrong. It was a Raya greeting alright, but it was attached with a straight forward love letter. I read the letter line by line; he described his feelings towards me. I’d always knew that people like to teas us, they kept saying that we had feelings for each other ever since we sat next to each other in class when we were in form one, but I’d never thought that the teasing was for real especially the part where he had feelings for me.
After reading the letter, I didn’t know what to do with it. At first, I thought of replying the letter but I wasn’t sure how to write or what to write. The memory of me celebrating the festive season was very vague. A week had past, the school break was over, and I was still not sure what to do with the letter. I went to school as usual on the following day, but this time the feelings of guilt was haunting me. How could one react towards a classmate who handed you your very first love letter? I kept the letter for at least one week (I don’t really know for sure how long I kept it). I was clueless, I didn’t know how to react every time I saw him in class. His place was only one desk across me. I never talked to him since then, at last I decided to return the letter to the sender. This is another part that puzzled me, I wasn’t sure when or how or what should I say if I were to return it. The best way that I could think of was to put the envelope into the drawer of his desk. I was never sure when did he realize about its presence in his drawer & I didn’t intend to know.
A few months later, I heard that his family was shifting to Penang, his hometown. I never asked a thing about his move to Penang. Our class monitor had decided to throw a farewell party for him to acknowledge his contributions for helping us to beautify our class and won the weekly cleanliness award. I could clearly recall how I refused to attend the party just to avoid him and to show that no matter what happened I would stick to my decision of turning him down. With a number of people persuading me to go to the farewell party, I finally gave in. I even gave my photo to be enclosed in the photo album present that our class bought for him.
I vividly remember how my classmates tried so hard to snap a picture of us together and how they organized games for us to be playing together. Did I mention that I hate this guy? I hated him so much that I used to tell my little sister how I hated every single thing that he did. I even made fun of the way he walked. When I come to think of it, I never really had a valid reason for the strong hatred towards him.
Some of you may wonder, what happened to this guy that I hated so much? Guess what? The guy is the person that I’m living with; the guy that I hated is the same old guy that I married five years ago. I’ve never thought that we would end up marrying each other. It had never occurred to me that I’d be spending the rest of my life with the guy that I hated the most. That’s fate & life. Quoting from friend’s blog, “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans”.
p/s: The love letter is still intact, he’s been keeping it with him all this while. We are keeping it safe for our children to read.
Monday, September 12, 2005
Walking down the memory lane
With nothing much to do at work, I have all the time to walk down the memory lane - the precious moments in my life. The strongest memory that is coming back to my mind is the four years spent in the university. I could clearly see my fellow uni friends in my mind - Ct, Anad, Imah and Lin. I remember how I first got to know them. It was back in 1998, our registration day and our 1st day as freshmen enrolling for our IT degree. I'd just registered at late noon, when most of the housemates had done their unpacking. Frankly, I'm not a friendly person so it was never easy for me to start a conversation. Luckily, my mom was there helping me to settle my baggage. She started talking to one of them, it was Ct. And Ct with her ever talkative & friendly manner introduced herself & the rest of the bunch. That was how I got to know them, my mom. Then, parents were ushered to leave the hostel as we had to report for our orientation week. I don't wanna elaborate much on our orientation week.
Anyway, after 1 week of torturous orientation programme, we were asked to move to another block. We were transported to our new block with a bus. The bus was crammed up with all our stuffs. The sun was about to set when we got there. After unloading our stuffs and 'fighting' for our rooms, the two seniors who were staying there, took us to the nearest food stalls. We walked there, and our 1st journey to the stalls seemed too long & really tiring. When we got there, we were all swelled up by the many steps taken just to fill our grumbling stomach. After that 1st journey, we never complaint about the distance since we were so used to a lot of walking after that. My most memorable moment with them was when the 4 of us walked all the way from our house to the nearest shopping plaza. I could clearly hear how they teased me about my consciousness over my weight (i was a little plump back then, weighting 48 kg i always saw myself fat & ugly). I remembered Lin saying out loud, "look at Ina, look at her fatty tissue clinging around her fat legs. I'm so embarrassed to walk beside her". I must admit that I was an anorexic & sometimes I still see myself fat despite my 43kg weight. Our mission of going there was to measure our weight at the weighting fortune machine (the machine prints a fortune card with our weight on it)
As I'm sitting here typing & recalling the wonderful years spent with them, reminds me of the time when all of us became chatting maniacs. I could hardly recall who introduced us to the chatting craze, but what I know for sure the craze started when one of us bought a computer that came with modem. We took turn to chat coz the wireless thingy was way beyond our time. All of us started to log for distinguished nicks. My closest friend, Anad was the heavy chatter among us. I remembered how I hardly saw her slept at nite coz of her madness over chatting. She had come to the extreme of having a 'steady' chatting buddy. I couldn't tell exactly when did we get over the madness of chatting, but one thing that I remember most was one of my chatting friends sent a pict of him in the uni he was lecturing. I even had a special nick for him, my knight in shining armour (this was plainly because I was so indulged into Jude Deveraux's a knight in shining armour novel).
I know it’s impossible to note down all the special moments spent with them. But honestly, these close friends of mine have helped me tremendously to go thru life as a student in the uni especially Anad. We went a lot of things together, we had accident while riding your bike to our morning class just after I got furious with you over something. We even had to extend our study period because of our exam results. To all my friends in uni, Ct, Anad, Lin & Imah thanks for being a good friend. I really appreciate our friendship and especially to Anad, thanks so much for putting up with my temper. And to all the friends that I got to know during my schoolday, uni or during my employment, thanks for the valuable friendship.
Anyway, after 1 week of torturous orientation programme, we were asked to move to another block. We were transported to our new block with a bus. The bus was crammed up with all our stuffs. The sun was about to set when we got there. After unloading our stuffs and 'fighting' for our rooms, the two seniors who were staying there, took us to the nearest food stalls. We walked there, and our 1st journey to the stalls seemed too long & really tiring. When we got there, we were all swelled up by the many steps taken just to fill our grumbling stomach. After that 1st journey, we never complaint about the distance since we were so used to a lot of walking after that. My most memorable moment with them was when the 4 of us walked all the way from our house to the nearest shopping plaza. I could clearly hear how they teased me about my consciousness over my weight (i was a little plump back then, weighting 48 kg i always saw myself fat & ugly). I remembered Lin saying out loud, "look at Ina, look at her fatty tissue clinging around her fat legs. I'm so embarrassed to walk beside her". I must admit that I was an anorexic & sometimes I still see myself fat despite my 43kg weight. Our mission of going there was to measure our weight at the weighting fortune machine (the machine prints a fortune card with our weight on it)
As I'm sitting here typing & recalling the wonderful years spent with them, reminds me of the time when all of us became chatting maniacs. I could hardly recall who introduced us to the chatting craze, but what I know for sure the craze started when one of us bought a computer that came with modem. We took turn to chat coz the wireless thingy was way beyond our time. All of us started to log for distinguished nicks. My closest friend, Anad was the heavy chatter among us. I remembered how I hardly saw her slept at nite coz of her madness over chatting. She had come to the extreme of having a 'steady' chatting buddy. I couldn't tell exactly when did we get over the madness of chatting, but one thing that I remember most was one of my chatting friends sent a pict of him in the uni he was lecturing. I even had a special nick for him, my knight in shining armour (this was plainly because I was so indulged into Jude Deveraux's a knight in shining armour novel).
I know it’s impossible to note down all the special moments spent with them. But honestly, these close friends of mine have helped me tremendously to go thru life as a student in the uni especially Anad. We went a lot of things together, we had accident while riding your bike to our morning class just after I got furious with you over something. We even had to extend our study period because of our exam results. To all my friends in uni, Ct, Anad, Lin & Imah thanks for being a good friend. I really appreciate our friendship and especially to Anad, thanks so much for putting up with my temper. And to all the friends that I got to know during my schoolday, uni or during my employment, thanks for the valuable friendship.
Friday, September 09, 2005
Mating season
Mating season is the nickname my hubby gave to the school holiday. Why? It's simply because of the many wedding invitations that we got each time the school holiday peeps into the calendar. School holiday may be over by now, but some of the soon-to-be-wed couples chose to organise their wedding days after the shool holiday just to avoid the peak period of weddings. Why mating season some of you may wonder? I don't think that I need to elaborate. I'm sure the word wedding is self-explanatory.
Tonite, my hubby will be taking me & our sons to his friend's majlis akad nikah in Ampang. We were invited there as we aren't gonna be able to attend her wedding reception on 10th Sept. My hubby will be joining his office's trip to Genting Highlands on that day. I'm not really close to this friend of his, but my hubby is quite close to her cause he helped her a lot with her design subject when they were studying architecture together. Seems like she owed my hubby a favour.
Back to the mating season subject, we were supposed to attend quite a number of weddings last August but as I've mentioned in my a very hectic month post due to my hubby's tight deadlines I couldn't attend most of the wedding invitations. Attending wedding receptions always remind me of my wedding. Looking back to the five years ago event, made me feel lucky that I got married young. To some, it seems tougher to settle down at a young age cause most of us weren't financially stabil at that time. We were still studying with no fixed income when we married. I can't deny that it was truly tough during our first two years of marriage. We had to struggle to keep our family together & win some bread & butter. Even though it was tough I never regretted being married young, in fact I'm glad that we did so. When our friends are in the midst of finding soulmates & planning to settle down, we are already busy with educating & bringing up our children. I'm glad and proud that we're a few notches up from our friends. So to all my friends who've just got settle down, it's time for you guys to catch-up ;-p
Tonite, my hubby will be taking me & our sons to his friend's majlis akad nikah in Ampang. We were invited there as we aren't gonna be able to attend her wedding reception on 10th Sept. My hubby will be joining his office's trip to Genting Highlands on that day. I'm not really close to this friend of his, but my hubby is quite close to her cause he helped her a lot with her design subject when they were studying architecture together. Seems like she owed my hubby a favour.
Back to the mating season subject, we were supposed to attend quite a number of weddings last August but as I've mentioned in my a very hectic month post due to my hubby's tight deadlines I couldn't attend most of the wedding invitations. Attending wedding receptions always remind me of my wedding. Looking back to the five years ago event, made me feel lucky that I got married young. To some, it seems tougher to settle down at a young age cause most of us weren't financially stabil at that time. We were still studying with no fixed income when we married. I can't deny that it was truly tough during our first two years of marriage. We had to struggle to keep our family together & win some bread & butter. Even though it was tough I never regretted being married young, in fact I'm glad that we did so. When our friends are in the midst of finding soulmates & planning to settle down, we are already busy with educating & bringing up our children. I'm glad and proud that we're a few notches up from our friends. So to all my friends who've just got settle down, it's time for you guys to catch-up ;-p
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
A mother - child bond
Today while having lunch with a few of my office mates, I was struck by the mother - child bonding topic that we were discussing. We started to chat on the topic as we learned that one close office mate of ours had to send her son to her parents' place in Kuching. She's been requested to go to our office in Sydney to undergo a one-month training there. Normal mothers will weep upon knowing that they have to be away from their children for quite sometimes. When she was telling this to us, her eyes were filled with tears. As a mother of two boys, I fully understand the felling of being apart from the children.
I experienced this feeling for the first time when I had to attend the PTD assessment programme in Kluang, Johor. It was somewhere back in May, I got the letter from the SPA saying that I'd to undergo an assessment in order to qualify to the next round of the PTD selection. I was supposed to attend the selection held in KL but due to a training conducted at the office, I had to reschedule the assessment date as well as the venue. The nearest centre available was Kluang & Kuala Ketil but I chose to go to Kluang since my hubby is very familiar with that part of Msia.
We parted from Serdang right after maghrib prayer. After four hours of non-stop drive, we reached Kluang town. I remembered during our journey to Kluang, my in-laws who were back then staying in Segamat rang us a number of times to ensure we had a save journey. At about midnite, we reached Kluang town & headed straight to one of the hotels there.
Early the next morning, I packed our luggages & separated my luggage from my hubby's & my kids' baggages in case I had to stay in the hostel provided at the assessment centre. I really wished that they would allow me to stay at the nearest hotel instead of the hostel provided. It never occurred to me that it would be the day I had to be away from my children for a couple of days. After I registered myself into the assessment centre, I went to get the things needed and put them into the room provided. Then, I went straight to my hubby & kids who were awaiting in the car. That was the moment I had to wish farewell to my hubby & kids. It was the saddest moment in my life because I knew then I had to be apart from my family for a couple of days. It was the first time ever my cheeks were drenched with tears, to be away from the children that I love. The fact that I wouldn't be seeing them for a few days really strucked my heart. Even my children were crying. I hugged and kissed my hubby & kids. My two boys were screaming asking me to get back into the car. I told them, "Mama has to go to work", but it didn't stop them from crying. My hubby said, "It's just for a few days. We'll fetch you on Sunday". More tears ran down my cheeks when I saw them drove away & left the place heading to my in-laws' place in Segamat.
I could imagine my colleague's feelings to be apart from her son. That's how strong a mother - child bonding is. I couldn't understand how some of the so called mothers could easily get rid of their children after birth, some even dumped their babies in garbage cans. What were they thinking? How could they be so mean & cruel to the babies that they carried so close to their hearts for nine months? I was never fond of kids in my teen ages but after I got married & had my own kids my heart sank upon learning that some mothers turned into devils to dump their babies just to seal their sins. They should know that, Allah sees everything that one commits - one may veil it from others but Allah knows, there's nothing that one could hide away from Allah the Almighty.
I experienced this feeling for the first time when I had to attend the PTD assessment programme in Kluang, Johor. It was somewhere back in May, I got the letter from the SPA saying that I'd to undergo an assessment in order to qualify to the next round of the PTD selection. I was supposed to attend the selection held in KL but due to a training conducted at the office, I had to reschedule the assessment date as well as the venue. The nearest centre available was Kluang & Kuala Ketil but I chose to go to Kluang since my hubby is very familiar with that part of Msia.
We parted from Serdang right after maghrib prayer. After four hours of non-stop drive, we reached Kluang town. I remembered during our journey to Kluang, my in-laws who were back then staying in Segamat rang us a number of times to ensure we had a save journey. At about midnite, we reached Kluang town & headed straight to one of the hotels there.
Early the next morning, I packed our luggages & separated my luggage from my hubby's & my kids' baggages in case I had to stay in the hostel provided at the assessment centre. I really wished that they would allow me to stay at the nearest hotel instead of the hostel provided. It never occurred to me that it would be the day I had to be away from my children for a couple of days. After I registered myself into the assessment centre, I went to get the things needed and put them into the room provided. Then, I went straight to my hubby & kids who were awaiting in the car. That was the moment I had to wish farewell to my hubby & kids. It was the saddest moment in my life because I knew then I had to be apart from my family for a couple of days. It was the first time ever my cheeks were drenched with tears, to be away from the children that I love. The fact that I wouldn't be seeing them for a few days really strucked my heart. Even my children were crying. I hugged and kissed my hubby & kids. My two boys were screaming asking me to get back into the car. I told them, "Mama has to go to work", but it didn't stop them from crying. My hubby said, "It's just for a few days. We'll fetch you on Sunday". More tears ran down my cheeks when I saw them drove away & left the place heading to my in-laws' place in Segamat.
I could imagine my colleague's feelings to be apart from her son. That's how strong a mother - child bonding is. I couldn't understand how some of the so called mothers could easily get rid of their children after birth, some even dumped their babies in garbage cans. What were they thinking? How could they be so mean & cruel to the babies that they carried so close to their hearts for nine months? I was never fond of kids in my teen ages but after I got married & had my own kids my heart sank upon learning that some mothers turned into devils to dump their babies just to seal their sins. They should know that, Allah sees everything that one commits - one may veil it from others but Allah knows, there's nothing that one could hide away from Allah the Almighty.
Monday, September 05, 2005
UNTUK KE-5 TAHUN
Untuk ke-5 tahunnya,
Aku masih mengenggam janji,
Lafaz cintaku menjadikanmu isteriku;
Ku kucup dahimu terpahat restuku…
Untuk ke-5 tahunnya,
Kau telah berkorban untukku,
Segala kasih-sayang dan kesetiaanmu;
Segunung intan tak dapat ku lunaskan,
Untuk ke-5 tahunnya,
Kau menemaniku,
Dalam jaga dan lenaku;
Tiada lagi nyenyak tidur tanpamu,
Untuk ke-5 tahunnya,
Kau telah sinari hidup dengan cahaya mata,
Menyinarlah kasihku sehingga kepintu syurga;
Terbenam marahku ke lubuk neraka,
Oleh itu hari ini,
Untuk ke-5 tahunnya,
Aku masih tetap melafazkan;
Kata CINTA dari hatiku ke hatimu,
dr abgsayangina
Aku masih mengenggam janji,
Lafaz cintaku menjadikanmu isteriku;
Ku kucup dahimu terpahat restuku…
Untuk ke-5 tahunnya,
Kau telah berkorban untukku,
Segala kasih-sayang dan kesetiaanmu;
Segunung intan tak dapat ku lunaskan,
Untuk ke-5 tahunnya,
Kau menemaniku,
Dalam jaga dan lenaku;
Tiada lagi nyenyak tidur tanpamu,
Untuk ke-5 tahunnya,
Kau telah sinari hidup dengan cahaya mata,
Menyinarlah kasihku sehingga kepintu syurga;
Terbenam marahku ke lubuk neraka,
Oleh itu hari ini,
Untuk ke-5 tahunnya,
Aku masih tetap melafazkan;
Kata CINTA dari hatiku ke hatimu,
dr abgsayangina
5th wedding anniversary
Today is another episode of my boring day at work. Not much to do really, since I was having some problem to transfer my product upate to the publishing system in Sydney. The company that I'm working for is so multinational that it is owned by the Dutch, managed by Aussie & the production department is run by Asian. I don't really wanna highlight much about my employee in this update.
As I was typing this, the ring that's glittering on my middle finger keeps reminding me of the wonderful gifts that my hubby bought for me as our 5th anniversary wedding present. Yesterday, we went to one of the jewellers in Putrajaya. I've always longed to possess a diamond ring ever since my adulthood. But of course when we 1st got married, my hubby couldn't afford to buy one and the fact that we went to buy a wedding ring with his mother (my 'loving' mother-in-law) had stopped us from getting one of those white gold diamond ring. Yeah, typical elderly Malay woman will never approve purchase of jewellery with zero golden feature. I was a little frustrated back then, but what could I say? Long story short, my hubby & I had to agree to what she chose for us. In fact, I had to nod silently to all the choices she made for our wedding arrangements.
Anyway, back to our recent trip to the jewellery shop. I finally picked a white gold diamond ring after a couple hours of survey & a white gold plated bangle like bracelet. They were the best gifts that my hubby had ever presented to me after the Nokia phone. I felt bad that I didn't buy him anything, I've no idea what to give him since men's desire are so absolutely different from women. To my baby, thanks a million for the wonderful gifts. I really appreciate it. For five long years we've been together thru hard times & good times, I always pray for us to be together for the rest of our lives.
To my newly weeds friends, I'd like to wish you guys "selamat pengantin baru, selamat menempuh alam baru dgn penuh kesabaran, semoga berbahgia slalu hingga ke akhir hayat". I prefer not to use the phrase "semoga berkekalan ke anak cucu" because I've come across a few married couples who live happily together and got divorced once they started to have grandchildren. I'm saying this based on what had happened to a number of my aunts. Knowing that they divorced in their golden ages made me sour, to me the best thing in a wedding is having a life partner who'll spend the rest of his/her life with you in whatever situation. No matter how much one spends for their wedding reception, it won't value a single cent if one ended up parting from the person that you married. It's sad enough when children have grown up and started their life elsewhere with their own family but it's tragic when an elderly man/woman had to spend the rest of his/her life alone.
To my single friends, no rush in searching for your Mr/Ms Right or best said as soul mate. When the time comes, you'll find your soul mate & life partner with God's will. Just like a saying in Malay, "Jodoh pertemuan, ajal maut di tangan Allah. Manusia hanya merancang, Allah yang menentukan". Only Allah knows what is best for us.
As I was typing this, the ring that's glittering on my middle finger keeps reminding me of the wonderful gifts that my hubby bought for me as our 5th anniversary wedding present. Yesterday, we went to one of the jewellers in Putrajaya. I've always longed to possess a diamond ring ever since my adulthood. But of course when we 1st got married, my hubby couldn't afford to buy one and the fact that we went to buy a wedding ring with his mother (my 'loving' mother-in-law) had stopped us from getting one of those white gold diamond ring. Yeah, typical elderly Malay woman will never approve purchase of jewellery with zero golden feature. I was a little frustrated back then, but what could I say? Long story short, my hubby & I had to agree to what she chose for us. In fact, I had to nod silently to all the choices she made for our wedding arrangements.
Anyway, back to our recent trip to the jewellery shop. I finally picked a white gold diamond ring after a couple hours of survey & a white gold plated bangle like bracelet. They were the best gifts that my hubby had ever presented to me after the Nokia phone. I felt bad that I didn't buy him anything, I've no idea what to give him since men's desire are so absolutely different from women. To my baby, thanks a million for the wonderful gifts. I really appreciate it. For five long years we've been together thru hard times & good times, I always pray for us to be together for the rest of our lives.
To my newly weeds friends, I'd like to wish you guys "selamat pengantin baru, selamat menempuh alam baru dgn penuh kesabaran, semoga berbahgia slalu hingga ke akhir hayat". I prefer not to use the phrase "semoga berkekalan ke anak cucu" because I've come across a few married couples who live happily together and got divorced once they started to have grandchildren. I'm saying this based on what had happened to a number of my aunts. Knowing that they divorced in their golden ages made me sour, to me the best thing in a wedding is having a life partner who'll spend the rest of his/her life with you in whatever situation. No matter how much one spends for their wedding reception, it won't value a single cent if one ended up parting from the person that you married. It's sad enough when children have grown up and started their life elsewhere with their own family but it's tragic when an elderly man/woman had to spend the rest of his/her life alone.
To my single friends, no rush in searching for your Mr/Ms Right or best said as soul mate. When the time comes, you'll find your soul mate & life partner with God's will. Just like a saying in Malay, "Jodoh pertemuan, ajal maut di tangan Allah. Manusia hanya merancang, Allah yang menentukan". Only Allah knows what is best for us.
Friday, September 02, 2005
Shop till you drop
Yesterday I went to Mid-valley to shop for a few items that I've been longing to buy. I've been planning to do so since the beginning of the M'sia Mega Sale Carnival but my tight schedule had kept me away from the shopping centre for quite sometimes. I was kept hooked on to my clearing products one after another since they were coming in back to back non-stop up till yesterday. With a budget of RM300 in my hands, I bought myself a wallet, hand bag, two blouse and a pair of socks. I even bought a wallet for my dear hubby. It was a bit frustrating when I didn't have enough cash to buy a skirt that I like so much. I spent about 5 hours of wandering around Mid-valley from the south point to north point. Actually I've set the alarm on my phone to snooze at 4.00 pm. So, when my feet was aching due to almost non-stop of walking my phone alarm was beeping. I didn't realise that I've spent almost 5 hours there.
I got home around 5.00 pm. Before I fetch my kids from my baby-sitter's place, I tried on my new clothes and quickly emptied my old hand bag, put the things in it into the new one. I did the same to my old wallet. A quater to 6, I fetched my two boys. They saw the KFC I bought from Mid-val & helped themselves to it. That was when I realised that I was so exhausted from too much of walking. I slept at around 12 midnite.
About 3am, my hubby got home from his office. He's been busy working on the Dubai project for the past two weeks. I didn't complaint much since my budget to do some shopping for myself has finally been approved. I gave him the wallet that I bought for him, he did the same thing that I did earlier to my old wallet - emptied the old one & put them into the new one. Then, at 3.30am we were off to bed. Within a few minutes, he was already in deep slumber while I couldn't put myself to sleep. Why? I couldn't keep myself from thinking of the skirt that I saw at one the boutiques in mid-val. How I wished I had more cash to purchase it. You see, my hubby has a principle of not possessing a credit card. He said having one will definitely affect our financial budget. If one possesses one, one has the tendency of exceeeding the initial budget. I think I've complaint once or twice about us not having a credit card. As usual he'll give me a 15-minute lecture on the disadvantages of having one. I'm so looking forward to buying it if possible this coming weekend. I've even started to imagine myself in the skirt and the matching blouse that I bought =o)
I think if I had had more cash, I might spend all the cash that I had. Old habit dies hard - if my hubby is a workaholic & perfectionist, I'm the shoppaholic & imaginist (is there such word? maybe a 'dreamer' is a better description). This has been my nature since I was in my teen ages but my current status as a wife & mother of two boys doesn't permit me to connect intimately with this nature of mine. I'm really looking forward to another shopping trip, I just love to shop. I think most women love to shop. Maybe it's one of the women's nature & that is why there are more shopping selections for women, from clothings to shoes to hand bags to lingeries or to simplify it women have a wide selection to shop for from head to toe. Why? I think women buy things to complement their beauty & most of them don't hesitate to spend more to look even more beautiful. As for me, I shop to satisfy my lust for clothes & shoes =o)
I got home around 5.00 pm. Before I fetch my kids from my baby-sitter's place, I tried on my new clothes and quickly emptied my old hand bag, put the things in it into the new one. I did the same to my old wallet. A quater to 6, I fetched my two boys. They saw the KFC I bought from Mid-val & helped themselves to it. That was when I realised that I was so exhausted from too much of walking. I slept at around 12 midnite.
About 3am, my hubby got home from his office. He's been busy working on the Dubai project for the past two weeks. I didn't complaint much since my budget to do some shopping for myself has finally been approved. I gave him the wallet that I bought for him, he did the same thing that I did earlier to my old wallet - emptied the old one & put them into the new one. Then, at 3.30am we were off to bed. Within a few minutes, he was already in deep slumber while I couldn't put myself to sleep. Why? I couldn't keep myself from thinking of the skirt that I saw at one the boutiques in mid-val. How I wished I had more cash to purchase it. You see, my hubby has a principle of not possessing a credit card. He said having one will definitely affect our financial budget. If one possesses one, one has the tendency of exceeeding the initial budget. I think I've complaint once or twice about us not having a credit card. As usual he'll give me a 15-minute lecture on the disadvantages of having one. I'm so looking forward to buying it if possible this coming weekend. I've even started to imagine myself in the skirt and the matching blouse that I bought =o)
I think if I had had more cash, I might spend all the cash that I had. Old habit dies hard - if my hubby is a workaholic & perfectionist, I'm the shoppaholic & imaginist (is there such word? maybe a 'dreamer' is a better description). This has been my nature since I was in my teen ages but my current status as a wife & mother of two boys doesn't permit me to connect intimately with this nature of mine. I'm really looking forward to another shopping trip, I just love to shop. I think most women love to shop. Maybe it's one of the women's nature & that is why there are more shopping selections for women, from clothings to shoes to hand bags to lingeries or to simplify it women have a wide selection to shop for from head to toe. Why? I think women buy things to complement their beauty & most of them don't hesitate to spend more to look even more beautiful. As for me, I shop to satisfy my lust for clothes & shoes =o)
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Family politics
Yesterday I had to leave my two boys at my parents' place, the main reason as usual - my baby-sitter was unavailable. So, I had to travel to & fro Cyberjaya - Subang. I had to spend a nite there so that I could head off to Cyberjaya after subuh. I got to office around 8.30 am. Then, at 5 pm sharp I started to pack my things to leave office just to avoid the heavy traffic in Sunway & Subang airport since I've promised my mom I'll try to get back early. She wanted me to send her to my aunt's place. She was complaining the nite before that she was furious with my dad who failed to send her off that nite. The main reason why my mom desperately needed to go to my aunt's place - her younger brother (my pak jang) & his family are in town, visiting the relatives here. I reached my parents' place a quater to 6. My mom was packing her stuffs when my dad asked her, 'are you spending the nite there?', 'yes', she said.
At 6, we left Subang and rushed to Shah Alam. I could clearly see the sad look on my dad's face. I know that look; I could sense his emptiness & loneliness whenever mom left him alone with my two younger brothers. I just don't understand what was wrong with my mom. I realise that my dad isn't a romantic type & sometimes not so gentleman but I'm firm that he loves my mom. It's just that my dad isn't romantic & doesn't wanna show off his love for her. Sometimes, my parents acted like strangers even though they've been married for almost 28 years. I always tell this to my mom, 'dad loves you, it's just that he's not romantic. he doesn't know how to portray his love for you'. Maybe it’s hard to let out romance between my parents because their marriage was a match-make.
Anyway, back to my aunt & pak jang. We reached her home when maghrib azan was recited. I totally forgot about her message I got earlier, reminding me to SMS her before we parted to her home. I just remembered about it when we got there, so I SMSed her to let her know that we were coming over. She replied, telling us that she took my pak jang & family to my cousin sister’s place in Keramat. Subang is like less than half-hour ride from Shah Alam, she could’ve have dropped by Subang before going to Keramat. I really don’t understand this aunt of mine, sometimes I think she’s a two-face. In my mom presence, she’d say good things bout my mom but she’d say bad things bout her in her back. My aunt treats our relatives back in kampung with respect and nicely but when it comes to treating my mom, sometimes she treated her like s**t. It’s not as if when my mom spends a few nite there, problems will be resolved nor could my mom sit back & relax from doing house chores since she’s away from home. I remembered, when my mom spent nites there, she helped my aunt to do all the chores from cleaning to doing the laundry – almost every single f**king thing, just name it. I think it’s much better off if my mom stays at home & entertain my dad’s needs, pahala pon dapat. You see, my aunt is a tailor. So whenever the raya season is back, she’d beg my mom to spend a few nites at her place to help her finish all the ‘baju tempahan raya’. To be frank, I’ve never really liked her. Maybe that’s why I rarely took my family to visit her, just getting sick & tired of the way she treats my mom.
The weird thing is, my mom would easily pour out her feelings & problems she was facing with my dad to this aunt. I don’t understand how could my mom trust her despite knowing her two-face nature. If I were in my mom shoes I’d never reveal marriage problems to any of my relatives. Whenever I face a crisis with my hubby, we’d talk things thru. I trust my hubby more than I trust my relatives. Marital problems should be resolved by husband & wife. There should be no interference from other parties especially relatives. I must admit that I sometimes express my dissatisfaction about my hubby to my mom, and my mom would remind me of the positive things in a marriage. I don’t like my mom to tell my aunt about her marital problems plainly because my aunt would never provide positive advices like my mom did to me. She’d only make things worse. Sometimes I feel like my mom depended too much on her relatives without knowing that all this while my dad was always there for her, no matter what the situation was. The only thing lacking in my dad is he isn’t romantic. It’s really hard to change a person, especially if he came from a family that doesn’t show off and portray act of love & passion for one another. I hope someday my dad will try to reveal the romantic sense in him so that things will get better between them.
At 6, we left Subang and rushed to Shah Alam. I could clearly see the sad look on my dad's face. I know that look; I could sense his emptiness & loneliness whenever mom left him alone with my two younger brothers. I just don't understand what was wrong with my mom. I realise that my dad isn't a romantic type & sometimes not so gentleman but I'm firm that he loves my mom. It's just that my dad isn't romantic & doesn't wanna show off his love for her. Sometimes, my parents acted like strangers even though they've been married for almost 28 years. I always tell this to my mom, 'dad loves you, it's just that he's not romantic. he doesn't know how to portray his love for you'. Maybe it’s hard to let out romance between my parents because their marriage was a match-make.
Anyway, back to my aunt & pak jang. We reached her home when maghrib azan was recited. I totally forgot about her message I got earlier, reminding me to SMS her before we parted to her home. I just remembered about it when we got there, so I SMSed her to let her know that we were coming over. She replied, telling us that she took my pak jang & family to my cousin sister’s place in Keramat. Subang is like less than half-hour ride from Shah Alam, she could’ve have dropped by Subang before going to Keramat. I really don’t understand this aunt of mine, sometimes I think she’s a two-face. In my mom presence, she’d say good things bout my mom but she’d say bad things bout her in her back. My aunt treats our relatives back in kampung with respect and nicely but when it comes to treating my mom, sometimes she treated her like s**t. It’s not as if when my mom spends a few nite there, problems will be resolved nor could my mom sit back & relax from doing house chores since she’s away from home. I remembered, when my mom spent nites there, she helped my aunt to do all the chores from cleaning to doing the laundry – almost every single f**king thing, just name it. I think it’s much better off if my mom stays at home & entertain my dad’s needs, pahala pon dapat. You see, my aunt is a tailor. So whenever the raya season is back, she’d beg my mom to spend a few nites at her place to help her finish all the ‘baju tempahan raya’. To be frank, I’ve never really liked her. Maybe that’s why I rarely took my family to visit her, just getting sick & tired of the way she treats my mom.
The weird thing is, my mom would easily pour out her feelings & problems she was facing with my dad to this aunt. I don’t understand how could my mom trust her despite knowing her two-face nature. If I were in my mom shoes I’d never reveal marriage problems to any of my relatives. Whenever I face a crisis with my hubby, we’d talk things thru. I trust my hubby more than I trust my relatives. Marital problems should be resolved by husband & wife. There should be no interference from other parties especially relatives. I must admit that I sometimes express my dissatisfaction about my hubby to my mom, and my mom would remind me of the positive things in a marriage. I don’t like my mom to tell my aunt about her marital problems plainly because my aunt would never provide positive advices like my mom did to me. She’d only make things worse. Sometimes I feel like my mom depended too much on her relatives without knowing that all this while my dad was always there for her, no matter what the situation was. The only thing lacking in my dad is he isn’t romantic. It’s really hard to change a person, especially if he came from a family that doesn’t show off and portray act of love & passion for one another. I hope someday my dad will try to reveal the romantic sense in him so that things will get better between them.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
a very hectic month
August is the 'merdeka' or the indipendence month for Msia. Starting from August 1st up to yesterday, 22nd of the month I so busy working on multiple products. I've been frequently staying back late to quickly complete the job & catch-up with the deadlines. Since then, I so hooked on to the publishing system that I didn't even have enough time to update my blog. The only contributor who's been updating this blog is my hubby. To my hubby, thanks baby for keeping it updated.
Frankly, there's not much to update on. Maybe just to highlight that my hubby & I had been kept busy with works that we didn't even get to attend our friends' weddings. One important wedding that we missed would be Pizli & Liza's wedding - the love birds in IMU after Farah & Rahmat. Sorry guys, I couldn't be there.....my hubby & I had a very hectic schedule this month.
This month witnessed the best purchased ever in my marital life. My hubby bought a sony dvd digital video camera - a merchandise that we had been longing to buy. We've tried to use it for a couple of times & my sons really enjoyed being shoot and seeing themselves on tv. Now that we possess one, we could commemorate the wonderful moments in our life besides capturing it on still images. My hubby and I are looking forward to shoot those moments......
Frankly, there's not much to update on. Maybe just to highlight that my hubby & I had been kept busy with works that we didn't even get to attend our friends' weddings. One important wedding that we missed would be Pizli & Liza's wedding - the love birds in IMU after Farah & Rahmat. Sorry guys, I couldn't be there.....my hubby & I had a very hectic schedule this month.
This month witnessed the best purchased ever in my marital life. My hubby bought a sony dvd digital video camera - a merchandise that we had been longing to buy. We've tried to use it for a couple of times & my sons really enjoyed being shoot and seeing themselves on tv. Now that we possess one, we could commemorate the wonderful moments in our life besides capturing it on still images. My hubby and I are looking forward to shoot those moments......
Friday, August 19, 2005
BIARPUN
Biarpun kehidupan di dunia hanya sementara,
Tapi cintaku adalah untuk selamanya.
Biarpun kau dan aku bisa berubah,
Kenangan cinta tidak terlupa.
Biarpun aku kehilangan segalanya,
Asalkan aku tak hilang kasihmu,
Biarpun perjalanan kita beralih arah,
Jejak-jejak hidup kita masih kekal disitu,
Biarpun jasad ini menjadi kaku,
Rohku masih hidup dalam cintamu.
Biarpun masa terus berlari,
Kita masih tetap bersama berjalan,
Mengenggam tangan,
Dalam gelora CINTA ABADI.
dari aku yg mencintaimu sehingga mati...
Tapi cintaku adalah untuk selamanya.
Biarpun kau dan aku bisa berubah,
Kenangan cinta tidak terlupa.
Biarpun aku kehilangan segalanya,
Asalkan aku tak hilang kasihmu,
Biarpun perjalanan kita beralih arah,
Jejak-jejak hidup kita masih kekal disitu,
Biarpun jasad ini menjadi kaku,
Rohku masih hidup dalam cintamu.
Biarpun masa terus berlari,
Kita masih tetap bersama berjalan,
Mengenggam tangan,
Dalam gelora CINTA ABADI.
dari aku yg mencintaimu sehingga mati...
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
TANPAMU PEREMPUAN
Tanpamu perempuan,
Aku sunyi,
Aku sepi;
Aku sendiri
Tanpamu perempuan,
Hidup tidak bermakna,
Melihat tanpa warna;
Memandang tiada indah
Tanpamu perempuan,
Harta ini sia-sia,
Membeli tidak puas;
Memakai tidak kena
Tanpamu perempuan,
Perjalanan hidup ini tempang,
Luka liku hidup ini terus berdarah;
Aku lemah dan terhenti di pertengahan
Hadirlah perempuan dalam hidupku,
Ciptaan tuhan untukku,
Takdir jodoh ku bersamamu selamanya;
Sehingga aku pergi menemuiNya
Untuk perempuanku…WARDINA
Aku sunyi,
Aku sepi;
Aku sendiri
Tanpamu perempuan,
Hidup tidak bermakna,
Melihat tanpa warna;
Memandang tiada indah
Tanpamu perempuan,
Harta ini sia-sia,
Membeli tidak puas;
Memakai tidak kena
Tanpamu perempuan,
Perjalanan hidup ini tempang,
Luka liku hidup ini terus berdarah;
Aku lemah dan terhenti di pertengahan
Hadirlah perempuan dalam hidupku,
Ciptaan tuhan untukku,
Takdir jodoh ku bersamamu selamanya;
Sehingga aku pergi menemuiNya
Untuk perempuanku…WARDINA
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
This year is my 5th wedding anniversary and for five consecutive years I've been married to my beloved hubby. To him, I am his 1st and last lover & as for me, he is my soal mate - the one person who really understands & who can stand arguing and listening to my nags. I'm grateful that despite the ups & downs, twists & turns, arguements & fights that we had faced through out our five years of marriage we are still united & our love for each other never fades.
Recently a good friend of mine, just divorced after a month plus of separation from her hubby. She shared most of her rough times from the separation & divorce with me. I listened & tried to lend a shoulder for her to cry on since she doesn't have anyone to turn to. I may not get a full understanding of what she'd to go thru but one thing that I'm certain of, I'm very grateful that 4JJI blessed my marriage to my hubby. Alhamdulillah, I still have a best friend to turn to during any mishaps ie my hubby and now I realise why 4JJI created men & women in total differences between them. Men are made to be stronger to protect women & women who are made with softer side instill in them to sooth the men during their mishaps and men & women are created with unique positive & negative elements or strengths & weaknesses to complement each other. For instance, women are more emotional but men are realist, so when a woman is facing an emotional situation the man is there to make her see the bright side of it and in a way soothes the woman.
Where am I leading this update? My point is a man's life is incomplete without a woman's presence in his life & vice-versa. Looking at my good friend's situation, I could never imagine how my life would be like without a husband to guide, assist & be by my side to face the obstacles of life. It could be said that I'm quite indipendent since I could drive myself to a place that I needed to go but I don't think that I'm strong enough to go thru this very challenging life especially with two boys under my belt.
The same goes with men. No matter how high their positions are at their offices and they may seem very organised at their work places but at home they still need women to handle their clothings. Not to mention attending to children that they breed. Most of the time, women had to answer the children's alarm in the middle of the night even though the women are exhausted of work. The abovementioned are not inclusive of the house-keeping & cooking part that women had to take charge of.
I'm not pointing finger to any party, my point is 4JJI created men & women to complement each other because what ever the weaknesses a man posseses will be complemented by a woman's strength & vice-versa. I'm totally against divorce, if possible I wish all married couples would live in joy for the rest of their life with their chosen life partner. The most important thing to bear in mind is, no matter how tough or difficult or challenging your obtacles is, your life partner is the best place for you to turn to.
Recently a good friend of mine, just divorced after a month plus of separation from her hubby. She shared most of her rough times from the separation & divorce with me. I listened & tried to lend a shoulder for her to cry on since she doesn't have anyone to turn to. I may not get a full understanding of what she'd to go thru but one thing that I'm certain of, I'm very grateful that 4JJI blessed my marriage to my hubby. Alhamdulillah, I still have a best friend to turn to during any mishaps ie my hubby and now I realise why 4JJI created men & women in total differences between them. Men are made to be stronger to protect women & women who are made with softer side instill in them to sooth the men during their mishaps and men & women are created with unique positive & negative elements or strengths & weaknesses to complement each other. For instance, women are more emotional but men are realist, so when a woman is facing an emotional situation the man is there to make her see the bright side of it and in a way soothes the woman.
Where am I leading this update? My point is a man's life is incomplete without a woman's presence in his life & vice-versa. Looking at my good friend's situation, I could never imagine how my life would be like without a husband to guide, assist & be by my side to face the obstacles of life. It could be said that I'm quite indipendent since I could drive myself to a place that I needed to go but I don't think that I'm strong enough to go thru this very challenging life especially with two boys under my belt.
The same goes with men. No matter how high their positions are at their offices and they may seem very organised at their work places but at home they still need women to handle their clothings. Not to mention attending to children that they breed. Most of the time, women had to answer the children's alarm in the middle of the night even though the women are exhausted of work. The abovementioned are not inclusive of the house-keeping & cooking part that women had to take charge of.
I'm not pointing finger to any party, my point is 4JJI created men & women to complement each other because what ever the weaknesses a man posseses will be complemented by a woman's strength & vice-versa. I'm totally against divorce, if possible I wish all married couples would live in joy for the rest of their life with their chosen life partner. The most important thing to bear in mind is, no matter how tough or difficult or challenging your obtacles is, your life partner is the best place for you to turn to.
Monday, August 01, 2005
Shape up 4 charity
Last Friday, 29th July at Cyberview Lodge resort the company that I'm working for launched the "Shape up 4 charity" programme. The programme aims to produce healthy workers by rewarding the team with highest dollar points with up to RM10k cash which is to be donated to a charity body. During the official launch we were all given a pocket file containing brochures on the programme, a CDROM on the 10,000 steps walking challenge, a measurement tape, a pedometer & a squeeze ball. Then, we were all divided into a few teams and given with some tasks to be completed within 2 hours. The tasks revolved around capturing photos of team members' posing as assigned. There were at least 8 photos potraying different task. The toughest assignment was to capture a photo with at least 3 team members balancing (on) sth. Me, & 3 other group members had to balance ourselves on the railing of a ram. You could clearly see me in theabove picture trying to balance myself. My position was the highest from the ground, so no one should mess around with me while I was perfoming this.
All tasks were completed within the time limit, so around 6.30 pm we were all gathered at the registration desk. We were ushered to the 'makan' place where we were supposed to answer trivia quiz before we were allowed to eat at around 7.15 pm. The food was great, almost all types of halal meat - you name it, there were chicken, beef, lamb, prawn, crab, & lobster. To the vegeterian, it was a wish come true when they learnt that the ever heavanly mozarella cheese was among the main dish for them. I helped myself to all the meat except for crab (susah la nk mkn ketam). Once, I was done with the meat, I went on to try the vegetarian dish just to balance out the types of food that I took that nite. Next, I picked a few of the desserts - the rich indulging & moist chocolate cake, caramel pudding & some fruits. After finishing the desserts I was really full, and I said to a team member who was in the organising committee, "this is not shaping up, this is building up". She chuckled and told me that when she looked at the menu, she had the same expression.
At around 8.15 pm, I had to drag my legs to head home since my tummy was so full. I didn't wait for the rest of the team since I know that most of them would be heading straight to the club there. When I got home, I'd totally forgotten about the 10k-step thing - all staffs are supposed to walk up to 10k steps per day. Last night, it rang my bell & today I'm wearing the pedometer in order to record the 10,000 steps that I'm about to make today. My resolution from today onward is to reach that 10,000 amount & probably to get in shape. [even though I'm quite slim enough ;o) losing a few more inches won't do any harm I guess]
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
senangnya dlm hati....
Sblm ni aku tak pernah tau kewujudan BLOG kat internet sehingga la kawan aku perkenalkan blog dia kt aku. Mase tu rase heran & tertanye-tanye, "camne le dorg ni bole ade blog ek? camne dorg update? camne BLOG ni b'fungsi?" Skang baru le aku tau (bodoh tak utk seorg IT graduate yang tak alert langsung on blogging thingy?) . Seronok gak rupe2nye ade BLOG ni, bole tulis ape shj yg tersemat di ati & fikiran, bole suke2 ati nk kutuk sesape pon mcm member aku sowg ni suke sgt tulih kemarahan dia t'hdp msian federal gomt - ade je la yg x kena pada dia, walaupon byk yg dia ckp tu aku sendiri sependapat dgn dia. Ade member aku lg sowg, fanatik gile dgn AF smp hasil nukilan BLOG dia pon byk b'kisar ttg perkembangan AF & penuntut2 AF. Yang bagus nye bile kebykan kawan2 aku ade BLOG, I can easily update myself on my friends' happenings. Jadi aku tak perlu nk email/phone dorg lagi. Kalu bace BLOG dorg rase cam dorg ade kt depan mate aku je smbl m'ceritakan suke duke idup dorg.
Ape yg aku nk ckp kt sini? Kesimpulannye, aku rase seronok & suke sgt semenjak ade BLOG sendiri ni, aku bole luahkan segala ape yg t'buku dlm kepala otak aku & dlm ati aku walaupon aku tau bape kerat sgt le org yg nk bace blog aku ni. Yang penting kepala otak & hati aku tak sarat dgn ape2 yg aku rase & pikirkan waktu aku taip dlm update blog.
Ape yg aku nk ckp kt sini? Kesimpulannye, aku rase seronok & suke sgt semenjak ade BLOG sendiri ni, aku bole luahkan segala ape yg t'buku dlm kepala otak aku & dlm ati aku walaupon aku tau bape kerat sgt le org yg nk bace blog aku ni. Yang penting kepala otak & hati aku tak sarat dgn ape2 yg aku rase & pikirkan waktu aku taip dlm update blog.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Time after time
Time passes by in just a blink of eyes. I could clearly recall my younger years especially my childhood - the best years of my life. Back in 1989, I was only 1o years old - standard 4, primary school, my father was still working for the Royal Air Force and we were staying in the spacious 'mat salleh' quaters. It was a semiD with small field which had enough room for me & my five younger siblings.
My days usually started off at 6.30 am, I rose and went straight to the bathroom. My mom prepared toast which I hardly touched for breakfast. Around 7.00 am (it was still dark), me & my younger sister headed off to the spot where the school bus dropped & fetched us. By the time we reached the spot, a whole bunch of at least 15 Air Force staff's children were already there waiting for the bus. It was no ordinary school bus, it was the air force staff's bus. Sometimes, the driver came with the big army truck if the bus wasn't vacant. I personally prefer riding the truck to school than the bus so did the rest of my friends. I never knew why but I guess it distinguished us (the Royal Air Force's kids) from the rest of the pupils at school & made us look more 'cool' than ordinary kids. Rides on truck was more fun & challenging. We had to climb up the truck coz usually trucks don't come with 'tangga'. We arrived at school around 7.30 am.
The school was special, that was what my last headmaster said. It was special because it was the only school in KL that was away from the city hustle while the rest of the school children around KL had to put up with traffic everyday. The only thing that bugged us during our school hours were the aero transports ie air force's helicopters & airplanes. Two other factors that made the school special were: (1) Chinese graveyard which was situated across our school field and (2) the Alice Smith's International Sch neibouring our school. I remember how my friends & I envied the facilities that our neighbour had, they had fully equipped gym & swimming pool. My friend & I always waited for an opportunity to speak to any one the kid from the school, just to practice conversing in English with a 'mat salleh'.
I couldn't really remember what I did during school hours, just focussing on subjects taught I guess coz the only thing that I could recall was that I hardly revised my studies at home. I'd finished my homeworks at school coz I didn't wanna bring them home, if I brought them home I wouldn't have time to finish them since I'd my own agenda after school.
After school hours, I waited for the bus to fetch us with my friends (I had a bad habit of abandoning my sister during school hours, I ignored her most of the time). We got home around 2.00 pm, then we had to change & prepare ourselves for 'mengaji' quran class. Sometimes when I didn't feel like going to the class, I'd pretend to be asleep so that I didn't have to attend the class. Anyway, the class was quite far - it was like a walk down the hill to get to the class. I didn't remember much of this also, all I could remember was I did very well for my 'jawi' writing. The quran class finished before Asar prayer.
By the time 'azan berkumandang', me & my 4 younger siblings reached home. We quickly changed. Then, we were all set to go to our favourite place - the public swimming pool for Air Force staff & family. The 'short-cut' route to the pool was tricky, we had to go thru bushes, back alley & an eerie looking temple just to get there. The challenging journey never stopped us from going to the pool. We always looked forward to swimming, well actually none of us were good swimmers, it was just that we liked to be in the pool.
After at least 2 hours in the pool, we went home. When we got home, we would play the 'kejar-kejar' game before we got in the house. Sometimes, if there were good tv programmes we'd skip 'kejar-kejar' game & dashed in to watch our favourite programmes. Some of our favourite were: (1) the English series such as Full House, Growing Pains, The Brady Bunch, 6 Million Dollar Man, and Bionic Woman (2) Animated series such as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle & Transformers (3) Japanese translated series such as Meoro Attack, Chiaki, and Satria Baja Hitam.
After watching one of the series, my father would have to drag us to the bathroom with his belt in his hand (marah le org tua tu, dh maghrib tp blom mandi & maseh dok ngadap tv). With tears running on our cheeks, we bathed & performed Maghrib prayer. The rest of the night was history coz I remember very vaguely of what we did at nights.
My days usually started off at 6.30 am, I rose and went straight to the bathroom. My mom prepared toast which I hardly touched for breakfast. Around 7.00 am (it was still dark), me & my younger sister headed off to the spot where the school bus dropped & fetched us. By the time we reached the spot, a whole bunch of at least 15 Air Force staff's children were already there waiting for the bus. It was no ordinary school bus, it was the air force staff's bus. Sometimes, the driver came with the big army truck if the bus wasn't vacant. I personally prefer riding the truck to school than the bus so did the rest of my friends. I never knew why but I guess it distinguished us (the Royal Air Force's kids) from the rest of the pupils at school & made us look more 'cool' than ordinary kids. Rides on truck was more fun & challenging. We had to climb up the truck coz usually trucks don't come with 'tangga'. We arrived at school around 7.30 am.
The school was special, that was what my last headmaster said. It was special because it was the only school in KL that was away from the city hustle while the rest of the school children around KL had to put up with traffic everyday. The only thing that bugged us during our school hours were the aero transports ie air force's helicopters & airplanes. Two other factors that made the school special were: (1) Chinese graveyard which was situated across our school field and (2) the Alice Smith's International Sch neibouring our school. I remember how my friends & I envied the facilities that our neighbour had, they had fully equipped gym & swimming pool. My friend & I always waited for an opportunity to speak to any one the kid from the school, just to practice conversing in English with a 'mat salleh'.
I couldn't really remember what I did during school hours, just focussing on subjects taught I guess coz the only thing that I could recall was that I hardly revised my studies at home. I'd finished my homeworks at school coz I didn't wanna bring them home, if I brought them home I wouldn't have time to finish them since I'd my own agenda after school.
After school hours, I waited for the bus to fetch us with my friends (I had a bad habit of abandoning my sister during school hours, I ignored her most of the time). We got home around 2.00 pm, then we had to change & prepare ourselves for 'mengaji' quran class. Sometimes when I didn't feel like going to the class, I'd pretend to be asleep so that I didn't have to attend the class. Anyway, the class was quite far - it was like a walk down the hill to get to the class. I didn't remember much of this also, all I could remember was I did very well for my 'jawi' writing. The quran class finished before Asar prayer.
By the time 'azan berkumandang', me & my 4 younger siblings reached home. We quickly changed. Then, we were all set to go to our favourite place - the public swimming pool for Air Force staff & family. The 'short-cut' route to the pool was tricky, we had to go thru bushes, back alley & an eerie looking temple just to get there. The challenging journey never stopped us from going to the pool. We always looked forward to swimming, well actually none of us were good swimmers, it was just that we liked to be in the pool.
After at least 2 hours in the pool, we went home. When we got home, we would play the 'kejar-kejar' game before we got in the house. Sometimes, if there were good tv programmes we'd skip 'kejar-kejar' game & dashed in to watch our favourite programmes. Some of our favourite were: (1) the English series such as Full House, Growing Pains, The Brady Bunch, 6 Million Dollar Man, and Bionic Woman (2) Animated series such as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle & Transformers (3) Japanese translated series such as Meoro Attack, Chiaki, and Satria Baja Hitam.
After watching one of the series, my father would have to drag us to the bathroom with his belt in his hand (marah le org tua tu, dh maghrib tp blom mandi & maseh dok ngadap tv). With tears running on our cheeks, we bathed & performed Maghrib prayer. The rest of the night was history coz I remember very vaguely of what we did at nights.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
all about a friend
This is a sequal to my update yesterday, "hurts hurt"
I sincerely sympathise this really good friend of mine. Almost every now & then, he had to face & put up with different sort of obtacles and problems. One of his major problem is his financial. The other day he came to me, seeking for assistance in monetary form. My hubby & I tried to provide alternatives to resolve his problem instead of just focussing on his 'ultimate' plan. We really wanted to help him out, but not the way he is planning it coz we think that there are other financial aids to mend his financial problem. We even seek 2nd opinion from our trusted financial advisor whose working with Bank Negara and our advisor's opinion was totally againts his 'ultimate' plan.
I can't help but wonder, "why doesn't he seek assistance from his family members since he is staying with them? Why can't any of his family members bail him out of his problem". This friend of mine once told me that when he tried to get help from his brother, his brother bombarded him and put the blame on him & told him that he won't offer any kind of help. As long as I know him, his father & bother are running a family business which is growing steadily. I really don't think that they can't afford to loan him some money to settle his problem. I remembered when I wanted to buy my kenari I didn't have enough $ for the downpayment, I went straight to my parents to loan me some & they gave me RM2k which they assured I don't have to pay them back, kate mak, "mak halalkan $ tu". I had been wrecking my head searching for a solid reason why didn't he go to his family instead of his friends. The only thing that I can think of is that he must have done something awful in his past that his family members wouldn't forget.
I shouldn't jump to conclusion but since he always told me his problem very vaguely I can't help myself from making conclusion based on my own interpretation. To my dear friend, I apologise if my conclusion & decision had hurt your feelings and if any of my expression in this blog of mine had offended you in anyway. I've been trying my very best to help him out but for this time around my hands are tight and I can't do anything about it. The assistance his seeking for is a little too much. I'm sorry, dear friend
I sincerely sympathise this really good friend of mine. Almost every now & then, he had to face & put up with different sort of obtacles and problems. One of his major problem is his financial. The other day he came to me, seeking for assistance in monetary form. My hubby & I tried to provide alternatives to resolve his problem instead of just focussing on his 'ultimate' plan. We really wanted to help him out, but not the way he is planning it coz we think that there are other financial aids to mend his financial problem. We even seek 2nd opinion from our trusted financial advisor whose working with Bank Negara and our advisor's opinion was totally againts his 'ultimate' plan.
I can't help but wonder, "why doesn't he seek assistance from his family members since he is staying with them? Why can't any of his family members bail him out of his problem". This friend of mine once told me that when he tried to get help from his brother, his brother bombarded him and put the blame on him & told him that he won't offer any kind of help. As long as I know him, his father & bother are running a family business which is growing steadily. I really don't think that they can't afford to loan him some money to settle his problem. I remembered when I wanted to buy my kenari I didn't have enough $ for the downpayment, I went straight to my parents to loan me some & they gave me RM2k which they assured I don't have to pay them back, kate mak, "mak halalkan $ tu". I had been wrecking my head searching for a solid reason why didn't he go to his family instead of his friends. The only thing that I can think of is that he must have done something awful in his past that his family members wouldn't forget.
I shouldn't jump to conclusion but since he always told me his problem very vaguely I can't help myself from making conclusion based on my own interpretation. To my dear friend, I apologise if my conclusion & decision had hurt your feelings and if any of my expression in this blog of mine had offended you in anyway. I've been trying my very best to help him out but for this time around my hands are tight and I can't do anything about it. The assistance his seeking for is a little too much. I'm sorry, dear friend
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
hurts hurt
semlm ade la sowg ni, btul2 nyakit kan ati & prasaan aku. nk mintak tlg, tp tak nak cite perkara yg sebenar. if u need to ask a favour especially in monetary form, u'll have to tell the whole truth - never go around the bush, cite btul2 jgn la dgn org ni cite camni dgn org lain cite camtu lak. ape ni? mane satu nk caye? nk mintak tlg other forms, xde masalah tp bile melibatkan $ ni mmg kena byk b'soal jwb le. bkn ape, aku pernah kena dh sblm ni & peristiwa tu watkan aku & somi serik to loan $ to acquaintances. yg lg wat sakit ati, dia menipu utk pinjam $ dgn kitorg, bgtau kate mak dia sakit - nk belikan ubatla kononnye. pd mulenye aku mmg berat ati la nk bg sbb aku dok t'pk ayah dia kn maseh hidup, x kn la ayah dia susah sgt smp nk belikan ubat isteri pon xde $. seperkara lagi yg wat aku berat ati, amount yg dia nk pinjam RM500 ubat ape la yg mahal sgt tu? some people may think, 'ah, skit je tu, halalkan je', tp kena ingat skang ni every cent matters. the best part is, we got to know that our sedara tu had been telling lies to almost all our relatives seeking for $. smp skang, kitorg dok t'tunggu saat dia bayo balik $ kitorg tu. pastu sedara kitorg tu, each time kitorg balik kampung jek, batang idungnye x pernah nmpk dh. somi aku angin tul, sejak dr peristiwa tu kitorg trus x caye sape2 yg mintak kitorg pinjamkan $.
aku semakin sakit ati dgn member aku yg sorg ni sbb aku tau habit dia yg suke b'cuti-cuti malaysia hampir tiap2 w/end. x slh kalu nk gi vacation tp kena la ikut pendapatan ko sebulan. kalu smp tiap2 ujung minggu gi places of interest in malaysia, jutawan pon bole jadi papa. mane idaknye setiap kali gi b'cuti-cuti m'sia mesti nk spend a few nights kt hotel, pastu mesti nk shopping skit, ole2 utk dibwk pulang maklum le bile smp umah nanti nk b'cite dgn org. org lain mesti tanye, "eh, x beli ape2 ke b'cuti kt ctu?", dah tu cite la ape yg dibeli kt tpt tu. bile dinasihatkan x nk dgr. sakit ati gak bile dia slalu complaint gaji dia x cukup. nk ikutkan gaji dia lg besar dr aku, anak baru sorg. apsal x cukup lak? cukup nye kalu pandai b'jimat. ini idak mkn nk sedap jek, tiap2 ujung minggu nk go for vacation, skit2 nk shopping, blom smp ujung bulan $ x cukup. kalu gitu gayenye income RM20k sebulan pon x cukup. bile x cukup $, mintak tlg kite wat bank loan pakai name kite utk dipinjamkan kpd dia. diwatnye dia lari dr bayo, sape nk bayokan - aku gak le yg tanggung utang dia. dia yg utang, aku lak yg nk kena bayo ape cite? lain kali kena ingat, "$ sukar dicari, menghabiskannye senang skali...org tua2 ade pesan - 'b'jimat cermat, skit2 lame2 jd bukit'
argh!!! smp arini aku maseh sakit ati dgn dia. x leh terima thp kedegilan & ego dia tu. geram!!! kite nasihatkan x nk dgr. mmg le aku pon bkn le bagus sgt in financial management but i've learnt to control my shopping habit since i married my hubby. u can spend ur money, tp b'ingat la kalu jatuh susah nanti sape nk tlg? dlm zaman skang ni, sedara mara pon bole b'sengketa sbb $, inikan pulak member2 jek. ko sape dgn aku? kalu aku susah nanti, ko nk tlg ke? blom tentu....
aku semakin sakit ati dgn member aku yg sorg ni sbb aku tau habit dia yg suke b'cuti-cuti malaysia hampir tiap2 w/end. x slh kalu nk gi vacation tp kena la ikut pendapatan ko sebulan. kalu smp tiap2 ujung minggu gi places of interest in malaysia, jutawan pon bole jadi papa. mane idaknye setiap kali gi b'cuti-cuti m'sia mesti nk spend a few nights kt hotel, pastu mesti nk shopping skit, ole2 utk dibwk pulang maklum le bile smp umah nanti nk b'cite dgn org. org lain mesti tanye, "eh, x beli ape2 ke b'cuti kt ctu?", dah tu cite la ape yg dibeli kt tpt tu. bile dinasihatkan x nk dgr. sakit ati gak bile dia slalu complaint gaji dia x cukup. nk ikutkan gaji dia lg besar dr aku, anak baru sorg. apsal x cukup lak? cukup nye kalu pandai b'jimat. ini idak mkn nk sedap jek, tiap2 ujung minggu nk go for vacation, skit2 nk shopping, blom smp ujung bulan $ x cukup. kalu gitu gayenye income RM20k sebulan pon x cukup. bile x cukup $, mintak tlg kite wat bank loan pakai name kite utk dipinjamkan kpd dia. diwatnye dia lari dr bayo, sape nk bayokan - aku gak le yg tanggung utang dia. dia yg utang, aku lak yg nk kena bayo ape cite? lain kali kena ingat, "$ sukar dicari, menghabiskannye senang skali...org tua2 ade pesan - 'b'jimat cermat, skit2 lame2 jd bukit'
argh!!! smp arini aku maseh sakit ati dgn dia. x leh terima thp kedegilan & ego dia tu. geram!!! kite nasihatkan x nk dgr. mmg le aku pon bkn le bagus sgt in financial management but i've learnt to control my shopping habit since i married my hubby. u can spend ur money, tp b'ingat la kalu jatuh susah nanti sape nk tlg? dlm zaman skang ni, sedara mara pon bole b'sengketa sbb $, inikan pulak member2 jek. ko sape dgn aku? kalu aku susah nanti, ko nk tlg ke? blom tentu....
Monday, July 18, 2005
Confirmation review
Just finished my confirmation review with the production manager. I wasn't really prepared for it, but I just expressed what ever I felt like saying. The most important thing of all, I told her that I need a new product for me to work on, a product which is frequently updated to keep me occupy. I'm not sure why I find it hard to sit still and do nothing in the office, it's not me. I guess I'm an outgoing person, I just like to keep myself busy. Even at home, if there's nothing to watch on tv, I'll get myself occupy with the housechores - usually ironing clothes so that my hubby can simply choose any ironed shirt from the rack.
One of the questions was 'what is your goal for the next 6 months?' I said if possible, I'd like to have access to all types of products and learn as much as possible so that I could lead my own team. Then she asked me, 'would you like to be buddied with a newbies?' I said definitely, it has always been my passion to guide people thru. I was once an instructor for an MLVK institution, the passion of teaching will always be with me.
Another question that I really like was, 'what do you think of the company?' I said, 'the office is SUPERB. That was my 1st impression when I 1st walked into the office'. Seriously the office is SUPERB, there's a breakout area for us to dine in & celebrate colleagues' birthdays - the best office that I've ever worked in. I added that, 'I really enjoy working here, there are always new things to learn' which actually suit my passion for learning. All in all, I love working here and I intend to here longer that the rest of my employment ;o)
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