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Sunday, December 30, 2007

My favourite pastime

I once mentioned in my earlier post that I need a good reading book to find and re-gain my sense of literacy that seems to have lost since I completed my post-graduate studies. Well, last Saturday my hubby took me and the boys to the public library in our little town to register us as members of the library. After completing the necessary registration forms and providing the document needed to support our application, we were given the official membership cards. Truth to tell, the last time I ever set foot in a library was when I was struggling to finish writing my final project paper which was approximately half a year ago. I loan three books, two of them were taken from the literature section and the last one was from the feminism shelve. Some of you may probably wonder, “Why literature?” Like I’ve stated in my last couple of post, I am in dire need of getting a book that could help me rekindle my magic touch in my journal-writing. I thought to myself what better way to revive one’s sense of literacy than reading a literature book. One of the literature books that I borrowed which interest me the most is called “A Novel in a Year” by Louise Doughty. Honestly, I’ve never even heard of her name before I found this book. While reading her book, I soon found out that she’s a novelist with an MA in literature who had written a few novels. Intrigued by the way the bolts and nuts of novel-writing is encapsulated in honest, frank words that made her writing seems effortless, I googled up her name to learn more about this novelist who appears alien to me. The google search result indicated that Louise Doughty is a British novelist and best of all one of her novels was internationally acclaimed. Like most of my Malaysian friends, I am more familiar with American novelists like John Grisham, Stephen King, Julie Garwood, Jude Deveraux and Danielle Steel, to name a few. Well, there are some non-American novelists who made it to stardom once their books were adopted into box-office movies, JRR Tolkien and JK Rowling for instance. I guess the Americans have succeeded in Americanising most nations of the world not only through the vast promotion of their movies, television series and goods but novels as well. The Americanisation of the world’s nations; now that’s something interesting that I should blog about in my next post. (or could it be me who's been blissfully ignorant of the existance of famous writers from other part of the world?)

Let’s go back to my recent book reading. As I progressively read the chapters of Doughty’s book, I begun to recall all the books that I had read, the impact that each books left and the wonderful memories that I could somehow relate with the narration. Reading this book made me feel as though reading is an endless process. I used to have a friend who claimed that he’d be a ‘nucking fut’ if he ever comes across books that he really likes. Unlike that particular friend of mine, reading has always been my favourite pastime since I was young. My interest in reading English novels however only commenced in my early teenage years which was a little later compared to most of my classmates back then. I could distinctly remember having my very first English novel at the age of 13, the most precious birthday gift my father had ever bought me. It was one of Nancy Drew’s infamous series of investigation novel. As far as I can remember, I was really hooked on to the novel that I found it hard to put it down. That always happened to me whenever I started to read a good novel. I love novel-reading primarily because well-written novels had constantly drifted me into the fantasy world as narrated by the novelist. That wonderful feeling of for once being taken away from reality has always been a good remedy for a bad gloomy day in my real life. Whenever I come to the final page of the novel, I’d found myself thinking that no matter how hopeless things may seem in reality, there is always a golden hope for good things to happen in my life, provided that I don’t get tired and bored of trying to work things out. My point is; get yourself a good book to read. You’ll be amazed at how the fantasy world created by those brilliant novelists could lift up your spirit. It may not be of any relevant to you, but it’ll do you good.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Goodbye 2007

In just a few days time, the year 2007, will be leaving us behind as we head towards yet another new year. Each New Year, some of us will be cracking their heads and think of their resolutions for the New Year. Some, would even come up with a long list of what they’d like to change for the betterment of themselves or even the world we’re living in. I remember when I was younger, a few years before I hit puberty to be exact, one of my classmates asked me about my resolutions for the New Year. Back then, I didn’t even know the meaning of the word ‘resolution’, in fact that was the first time I’d ever heard of the word. My schoolmate then told me her version of the meaning of ‘new year’s resolution’. Once I learnt what it means, I started to make a short list of things that I’d like to do in order to achieve my personal achievements. Like most of my classmates, I strictly adhered to my resolution but only for a mere second! As soon as the excitement of having a new year’s resolution wore out, I’d go back to my undisciplined character.

My innocent enthusiasm of listing New Year’s resolution has long gone as I grow older. I guess the eagerness of coming up with a list of ‘things to do’ has slowly diminished as my so-called friends walked out of my life and moved on with theirs. Nowadays, New Year to me seems like just another year that flies by within the flick of an eye. Sometimes it felt like it was only yesterday that I had left school and stepped into the varsity. At times, I find it hard to convince myself that I’d left my schooldays for more than a decade! It’s even harder sometimes to believe that most of my schoolmates are now happily married and blessed with children. Within the next few years, my children and the children’s of my schoolmates will continue the same legacy that we had left and repeat the similar cycle of life that we and our predecessors had once gone through only this time the phases will be improvised as the future generation learns the mistakes made by their elders.

p/s: Happy New Year to all!

Friday, December 14, 2007

a quick note

Last couple of weeks, one of my companion who frequents this blog of mine, commented that I seem to have lost some of my touch of literacy. When I re-read my past updates before I long-abandoned this blog, and compared them against the posts that were recently published, I hate to admit that my friend was right. I did lose some of my literature sense. To be honest, I could think of a few excuses that might be used as the contributing factors to my deteriorating writing quality. Firstly, there's this blog where I am unofficially appointed as the editor-in-chief. I have been helping my life partner with his journal-like-blog of his profession; my role is to ensure that his posts are grammatically correct, free of spelling errors, and most of all to transform ordinary writings into a good piece of literature. Go to this link and I'm pretty sure you'll discover that the sense of literature in most of the posts published is similar to my writings. Secondly, the fact that this blog had been neglected for quite sometimes, had greatly cost me into losing some of my priceless magic touch (according to my partner). Next, I haven't been able to read novels like I used to. Instead, lately I have become my children's reading companion every night before they go to sleep. If you're a loyal reader of my blog (not that I have many visitors), you'll notice that most of the sentences composed in my recent updates are in simple form with many simple words unlike my previous posts. When I complained to my partner about my friend's comment, he simply suggested that I should read more novels and books. I guess I could use a good reading book or novel to help me rekindle my sense of literacy.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Fancy living abroad?

When one is told of one's friend/acquaintance/colleague who study/live abroad, one would feel envious for the once-in-a-life-time opportunity that the other person gets and consider him/her as very fortunate cause it's not like everyday one would land a chance to live in a foreign land. Often than not, people tend to equate those studying/living abroad with luxurious living condition. I'm pretty sure that anyone especially those who have never set foot out of their country would easily fall under the spell of all wonderful and fancy stories that their emigrant friend brought home. Who in their rightful mind wouldn't want to have the privilege of driving fancy cars, travelling all over Europe, and getting decent pay in foreign currency? I was once among those who were charmed and lured by those wonderful fantasies. Little did I know that what lies ahead of me in the foreign land is beyond my fancy imagination.

As I set foot on the land that had once conquered my home land, I started to fantasize living in a tiny English home with a picturesque view in the background, driving a European-made car (which was way too pricey back home) to the city, and having my dream job. My jaws dropped in awe as I watched the clear blue sky and admired the English houses along our drive to an unfamiliar destination. I kept telling myself, "this is it, this is what I've always dreamt of; being in the country that my dad always looks up to". I was confident that I would easily adjust myself to the new place and I wouldn't feel awkward at all to be apart of the new society. My 15-minute day-dream then was shattered into pieces as the hired-car made a halt and parked by the sidewalk of my new home.

Our new home is an old terraced-house with a small garden that overlooks the public park. I told myself, "this ain't that bad after all", but the reality that was about to hit me was even worse. The house is also occupied by a couple of Polish couples. "We don't actually rent the whole house", my hubby said to me. He then showed me the room where we would be living in. The room was rather small for a family of four to fit in. I had no choice but to oblige. After having my first meal in a foreign land, we went to shop for groceries. I was yet to be hit by another shocking reality; our transportation. Our primary mode of transportation is our two feet. For the first time since my university years, I had to walk to the nearest supermarket. It felt like the longest walk, ever. The supermarket is about 15-minute walk from our home. When I first walk there, I thought it was too far and I found it very tiring. The big whiner in me couldn't stop from silently whimpering about the inconvenient truths that I had just learnt within my short arrival.

But that was five months ago when I found it hard to live without owning a car and living in our own house. By now I learn that living abroad is not always filled with lavish lifestyle. It may be true for newly-weds who are about to start family life and have no financial obligations (or should I say 'zero overhead'). In my case, being abroad is rather full of hardship and sacrifices that my hubby and I had to make in order to gain a better future for our children. I've never seen my children enjoy going to school as much as they do here. They never whine about going to school, instead they always look forward to it. Every time I pick them up at school after work, they would complain about me fetching them so soon. They keep saying that there's so much thing that they want to do in school. Hearing them complain about not spending enough time in school made me feel glad and grateful that my hubby and I took the decision to leave behind all that we have in Malaysia and go through another hardship, just to get the best education for our children.

Monday, December 03, 2007

The dangerous mind of mine

About a year or so ago, I used to regularly update this little blog of mine which I treat like my personal journal with thoughts that I have on my mind. An inconvenient incident which happened while I was pursuing my post-graduate studies, had abruptly cut short my passion to blog any more and made me realise that it'd be best if I keep my thoughts to myself. When I come to think of the tragedy that torn the relationship between me and my study acquaintances, it wasn't the first instance for such thing to happen to me. According to my forgetful mind, a few months before I quit from my last employment, one of the posts that I published in this blog, had offended a colleague who was about to become a good friend of mine. My relationship with her ended immediately after she read what I'd published. I have never realised that my blunt posts could hurt the heart of others. My entries in this blog have never been intended to hurt or offend anybody in anyways. They're plainly records of my thoughts and feelings for the day. I'm never good at confronting people about how I feel or what I think about something, I express myself better at writing though. The funniest part is, I've never mentioned names of the person involved yet they somehow felt that the entries were intended for them to read. There's a saying in my first language for this kind of situation, "siapa makan cili dia yand terasa pedasnya".

I guess my hubby was right after all about my opinionatedness that could eventually hurt many hearts. Like I've mentioned in my previous posts, I was never good at keeping friends since I was young. My mama always thought me that the best company that one can have is one's family. I'm not sure whether I should agree or disagree. In certain circumstances, I must admit that my family is the most precious and invaluable thing to me. They're also the closest person to me (after myself and God) in the whole wide world. I was not really surprised to find that my family were the only people at the airport on the night our flight departed from my home land to England. What surprised me though was seeing the presence of two of my coursemates on that night. It was even more surprising to receive a special farewell gift from them. I couldn't thank them more for being such good friends and for that, I intend to keep this two new friends of mine who accept me the way I am, and can tolerate my blatantness at times.

After thoroughly weighting the pros and cons of publishing journal-like posts on this blog, I have come to a conclusion that I should resume blogging my toughts. However, I need to be more careful now with the words that I use in my writings. I couldn't directly pen down every little thing that I have on my mind and post them here. Instead, I have to be less personal and wisely translate my thoughts into a general storyline which may be addressed to everyone without having anyone in particular but may happen to anyone as they go about with their daily routine.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

it's been a while...

i've been busy lately with my study especially now that i'm in my final semester. it's almost end of march and we're heading into april very soon and not long after that may and soon june. and with God will, i'll be flying off to England by end of june. i cant wait for that moment, the moment when i step on the plane to be reunited with my beloved hubby and my eldest son. i really miss them.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

separation is hard...

it's been a while since the last time i updated this blog of mine. the primary reason would be because of my hubby's coming back to msia for xmas & new year holiday. my kids & i had the chance to spend his three-week off-time by going to places that we had also wanted to go. we went from temerloh to penang to genting highlands and port dickson. and not to mention kl's main attractions like istana budaya where we watched a musical theater, and definitely the place where the animals of the sea are exhibited; aquaria. we had so much fun together & took so many pictures of us at the places that we went to.


after three weeks of holidaying, my hubby had to head back to manchester. once again, we were gonna be separated by the 13,000 miles distance and this time, the separation was even worse as my eldest son would be following my hubby back to manchester. on the night when my youngesnt son & i sent both of them to klia, my sons seemed happy especially my eldest son since this is his first long-haul flight and he knew that he'd be going to england, the place where you can find snow. both were so happy upon the sight of an airplane.

they didnt realise of what was coming ahead of their joy. they never that msia and england are so far from each other though time and time again i kept reminding my eldest that he'll be so far away from the home land. my eyes filled with tears as i kissed and hugged my eldest son but i fought the tears from running down on my cheeks upon seeing his cheerful face. my sons exchanged goodbyes and waved happily while i on the other hand was so sad to see my eldest son & hubby made their way to the boarding gate. my sons didnt realise that they'll be separated for quite a long time from one another. they never knew that they wont be meeting each other (physically) for at least six months from the day the flight took off.

my hubby and i felt sorry that we had to separate our two sons who are very very close to each other. they always comforted each other whenever they were scolded. they were always protective of one another. i remember one time when we went back to my hubby's hometown in penang, a cousin of my hubby who's only two years old hit my eldest son with a toy. my eldest son didnt fight back but cried. my youngest son then grabbed the skinny little boy's arm and hardly pinched the boy. this is just a mere example of their close brotherhood.

right now, i cant wait to finish my studies so that i can take my youngest son to manchester in the soonest time cause this separation is slowly killing our souls. i cant hardly wait for the day when we board our flight to manchester to be with the other half of us who are awaiting us there.