Monday, March 29, 2010

God, bless these children of mine for I could no longer...

Death is certain and definite. Every living creature is destined to live and for some unknown period of time will die. I have been taught this since I started schooling. Despite knowing this fact for more than two-third of my life, I still found it hard to accept news of death be it of relatives, friends or acquaintances.

Early this month, I learnt that someone whom I knew from college had passed away after losing her battle to cancer. She was only 30. I found it hard to believe that someone at my age would leave the world so soon. What made it even harder for me to accept was learning that she was married and a mother to three young children. All I could think about when I heard of this was the children’s fate. How would her husband explain to the little ones that their loving mother is no longer there to attain to their needs? I didn’t know her that close, so I could only presume that while she was fighting the decease, she must have at one point talked to her little ones about the uncertain fate awaiting her.

Imagine yourself in her shoes. What would you do when you’re told by your attending doctors of the fatal possibilities in facing this great battle? Would you prepare your loved ones of the worst that might happen? Or would you rather leave in silence? Either way, I bet it’d cause heartache to learn that you’d be leaving behind your loved ones especially the little rascals whom you carried for nine months, and then cared and loved for with your whole heart and never be able to attain to their needs ever again. Even when one is assured that when one dies, one would become the guardian angel looking over the children’s well-being from above; to me this won’t comfort me in any way. It would only make me yearn to hold them in my arms again, caress and sooth them when they are in pain.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is that I love my children even though there are times when they test my patience with their tantrums. This is the unconditional love that a mother has towards her children. For as long as she lives, she’d put her utmost best to protect and shield them against any evil. But somehow along the line, if I were fated to leave the world while my children are still little, I could only pray that the Almighty will bless them with good health, joy and happiness.