Monday, December 22, 2008

The big THREE-O

In less than a month’s time, the big three-O will be hitting me. I just couldn’t believe how fast time flies. It sometimes felt like it was only yesterday that I’d left the schooldays, joined the varsity took the plunge with the love of my live, got employed, and breed and raised our offspring. As mentioned in my previous post, being blessed with the little two angels-cum-rascals make me the proudest mum in the universe. Despite being blessed with a loving husband and healthy genius boys, I somehow feel like something big and important is missing from my life. And that something is my personal achievement as a working professional.

Through out my working years, I never had a clear vision of my career goal. Ever since I started being employed, if I was asked the question, “where do you see yourself in five years time?”, I could never provide a convincing answer to that question. Truth be told, I was never sure what I wanted out of each of the employment. In fact, all these years I’d never been bothered about the type of work or title of the post I held or if it’d help pave the path towards my dream career. All that mattered was, the amount of money received at the end of month that helped pay most of our financial obligations. Having family at a young age, left me and Fadz with no choice but to opt for any work that met our children’s growing expenses.

To be quite honest I really envy my life partner, Fadz, for the vivid vision that he has for his career prospect. He has my absolute respect every time I watched the determination that he puts in his work and the tireless efforts put forth in achieving the future that he dreams. I, on the contrary, am completely clueless of what I want as a working adult. With just a few days left in the year 2008 calendar, I become more restless as the vision of the big THREE-O hitting me become clearer. Not wanting to let the big question from eating my bubbly self up, I consulted my darling Fadz to shed some light into my cloudy mind.

After spending a whole night discussing the matter, I now have a better picture of my future career and what I’d need to do to reach for that dream. For the time being, I'm not going to unveil it here but I'm definitely putting down a plan to realise my hopeful thinking.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I'm on facebook!

I’ve just signed up on the infamous community network Facebook less than a week ago when Fadz invited me to join the network. Fadz finally decided to join Facebook a couple of months after not getting frequent update from his school mates from the other network that we both previously joined. Within the next couple of days after signing up, I was amazed at the many familiar faces whom I seem to have lost track of. All in all, I'm loving this new network community!

Saturday, December 06, 2008

My anguish mind

I realise that I haven’t been keeping this blog updated as frequent as I used to. I don’t exactly know the reason to this. I remember putting the blame on Fadz when his stupid laptop crashed, and joyfully he conquered mine and took possession over it. A good person would never pin-point other for one’s wrong doing; instead one would find out one’s flaws and search one’s genuine strengths that will slowly minimise the weaknesses over time. What exactly am I rambling about? Where am I leading my fellow blog hoppers?

To be honest, I’m not quite sure myself but I know for certain that this whole thought about blaming others arise soon after Fadz lead me into a heated conversation about how I should run my life. I appreciate his honest intention of helping me to achieve my golden goal which I constantly shared with him. It’s just that, I hate being treated like nothing more than a pretty face with dumb head.

There are times when I feel like I should just give up trying to chase the career that I’ve always dream of. But that would only mean that I’m nothing but a loser who raises the white flag before even going into battle.

When I was in the midst of completing my MBA course, my only wishful thinking was to get employed within the Human Resource line. I always thought that that’s where my passion lies. I searched high and low for any HR related vacancy but I was turned down soon after the interview was over. Having disappointed so many times in chasing my dream of becoming a HR personnel, I was by then quite desperate to get myself employed. Fadz told me that may be it was best if I temporarily land myself a job within any line and from there I could work my way out into HR field again.

I took his advice and decided that if I were ever called for another job interview, I’d sell myself out regardless of the type of vacancy or field of expertise the post required. Eventually I was offered to fill a temporary position in an organisation whose office is situated within walking distance from our resident. The job was quite dodgy in the beginning where there was no proper training or guidance given to help me perform the work. But after a couple of months, my supervisor; Martin noticed that I’m not quite as dumb as he thought. He started to assign me with challenging task. I thought I’d give it a try but after working on analysis on my own without prior training, I began to wear out of the job. I’d even thought of quitting and finding work elsewhere.

Martin was taken shocked when he was handed with my resignation notice as he thought that I was doing really well at every task given. I told him that sales analysis was never a favourite subject of mine in school. With the clock’s ticking closer to my last working day, Martin persistently persuaded me to say on by sharing his stories about how he started working for the company, just the way I did. He said that the work that I do here is very interesting in nature as it requires a lot of critical and analytical thinking.

After four weeks of giving the job another go, I finally decided that it’d be best if I just stay on working for the company (assisted with a lot of pushing from Fadz of course). And within that period of time, I also began to prove myself worthy. Every task given was delivered spot on. With proven track record under my belt, Martin started to put me in charge of certain area of his responsibilities. It was not long before I finally gained Martin’s complete trust of my capability. He began to put me the second person in command whenever he was away from work. Before long, I was promoted from a lame temp to a Retail Analyst Assistant. The recent middle of October, marked my first anniversary working there. I must say that the job could be quite challenging at times. These challenges don’t seem to exhaust me somehow, instead they are the main motivating factor that drives me to work.

Despite the increased responsibility laid upon me, I somehow feel that my work lacks of something. I guess it’s probably because of the fact that things had quieten down a little in the office due to the fact that most of the people there have finally grasped the new system installed. More often than not, during this quiet time my head keep screaming that I needed more out of this job, not material wise but the kind of exposure it brings into.

I guess it’s time for me to try and reinstate the adventures that the job brings. I’ve been sleeping on this matter and exchanging thoughts with Fadz about it. We both agreed that my current post is the best spot to prepare me for a higher managerial post when we return to our homeland. To ensure that I’d be gaining the most out of my current employment, I must express my concern and personal goals with my higher superior. But during the time this update is posted, I think it’s best to keep it low as all directors are busy carrying out the redundant policy.