Thursday, August 25, 2005

Family politics

Yesterday I had to leave my two boys at my parents' place, the main reason as usual - my baby-sitter was unavailable. So, I had to travel to & fro Cyberjaya - Subang. I had to spend a nite there so that I could head off to Cyberjaya after subuh. I got to office around 8.30 am. Then, at 5 pm sharp I started to pack my things to leave office just to avoid the heavy traffic in Sunway & Subang airport since I've promised my mom I'll try to get back early. She wanted me to send her to my aunt's place. She was complaining the nite before that she was furious with my dad who failed to send her off that nite. The main reason why my mom desperately needed to go to my aunt's place - her younger brother (my pak jang) & his family are in town, visiting the relatives here. I reached my parents' place a quater to 6. My mom was packing her stuffs when my dad asked her, 'are you spending the nite there?', 'yes', she said.

At 6, we left Subang and rushed to Shah Alam. I could clearly see the sad look on my dad's face. I know that look; I could sense his emptiness & loneliness whenever mom left him alone with my two younger brothers. I just don't understand what was wrong with my mom. I realise that my dad isn't a romantic type & sometimes not so gentleman but I'm firm that he loves my mom. It's just that my dad isn't romantic & doesn't wanna show off his love for her. Sometimes, my parents acted like strangers even though they've been married for almost 28 years. I always tell this to my mom, 'dad loves you, it's just that he's not romantic. he doesn't know how to portray his love for you'. Maybe it’s hard to let out romance between my parents because their marriage was a match-make.

Anyway, back to my aunt & pak jang. We reached her home when maghrib azan was recited. I totally forgot about her message I got earlier, reminding me to SMS her before we parted to her home. I just remembered about it when we got there, so I SMSed her to let her know that we were coming over. She replied, telling us that she took my pak jang & family to my cousin sister’s place in Keramat. Subang is like less than half-hour ride from Shah Alam, she could’ve have dropped by Subang before going to Keramat. I really don’t understand this aunt of mine, sometimes I think she’s a two-face. In my mom presence, she’d say good things bout my mom but she’d say bad things bout her in her back. My aunt treats our relatives back in kampung with respect and nicely but when it comes to treating my mom, sometimes she treated her like s**t. It’s not as if when my mom spends a few nite there, problems will be resolved nor could my mom sit back & relax from doing house chores since she’s away from home. I remembered, when my mom spent nites there, she helped my aunt to do all the chores from cleaning to doing the laundry – almost every single f**king thing, just name it. I think it’s much better off if my mom stays at home & entertain my dad’s needs, pahala pon dapat. You see, my aunt is a tailor. So whenever the raya season is back, she’d beg my mom to spend a few nites at her place to help her finish all the ‘baju tempahan raya’. To be frank, I’ve never really liked her. Maybe that’s why I rarely took my family to visit her, just getting sick & tired of the way she treats my mom.

The weird thing is, my mom would easily pour out her feelings & problems she was facing with my dad to this aunt. I don’t understand how could my mom trust her despite knowing her two-face nature. If I were in my mom shoes I’d never reveal marriage problems to any of my relatives. Whenever I face a crisis with my hubby, we’d talk things thru. I trust my hubby more than I trust my relatives. Marital problems should be resolved by husband & wife. There should be no interference from other parties especially relatives. I must admit that I sometimes express my dissatisfaction about my hubby to my mom, and my mom would remind me of the positive things in a marriage. I don’t like my mom to tell my aunt about her marital problems plainly because my aunt would never provide positive advices like my mom did to me. She’d only make things worse. Sometimes I feel like my mom depended too much on her relatives without knowing that all this while my dad was always there for her, no matter what the situation was. The only thing lacking in my dad is he isn’t romantic. It’s really hard to change a person, especially if he came from a family that doesn’t show off and portray act of love & passion for one another. I hope someday my dad will try to reveal the romantic sense in him so that things will get better between them.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

a very hectic month

August is the 'merdeka' or the indipendence month for Msia. Starting from August 1st up to yesterday, 22nd of the month I so busy working on multiple products. I've been frequently staying back late to quickly complete the job & catch-up with the deadlines. Since then, I so hooked on to the publishing system that I didn't even have enough time to update my blog. The only contributor who's been updating this blog is my hubby. To my hubby, thanks baby for keeping it updated.

Frankly, there's not much to update on. Maybe just to highlight that my hubby & I had been kept busy with works that we didn't even get to attend our friends' weddings. One important wedding that we missed would be Pizli & Liza's wedding - the love birds in IMU after Farah & Rahmat. Sorry guys, I couldn't be hubby & I had a very hectic schedule this month.

This month witnessed the best purchased ever in my marital life. My hubby bought a sony dvd digital video camera - a merchandise that we had been longing to buy. We've tried to use it for a couple of times & my sons really enjoyed being shoot and seeing themselves on tv. Now that we possess one, we could commemorate the wonderful moments in our life besides capturing it on still images. My hubby and I are looking forward to shoot those moments......

Friday, August 19, 2005


Biarpun kehidupan di dunia hanya sementara,
Tapi cintaku adalah untuk selamanya.

Biarpun kau dan aku bisa berubah,
Kenangan cinta tidak terlupa.

Biarpun aku kehilangan segalanya,
Asalkan aku tak hilang kasihmu,

Biarpun perjalanan kita beralih arah,
Jejak-jejak hidup kita masih kekal disitu,

Biarpun jasad ini menjadi kaku,
Rohku masih hidup dalam cintamu.

Biarpun masa terus berlari,
Kita masih tetap bersama berjalan,
Mengenggam tangan,
Dalam gelora CINTA ABADI.

dari aku yg mencintaimu sehingga mati...

Tuesday, August 16, 2005


Tanpamu perempuan,
Aku sunyi,
Aku sepi;
Aku sendiri

Tanpamu perempuan,
Hidup tidak bermakna,
Melihat tanpa warna;
Memandang tiada indah

Tanpamu perempuan,
Harta ini sia-sia,
Membeli tidak puas;
Memakai tidak kena

Tanpamu perempuan,
Perjalanan hidup ini tempang,
Luka liku hidup ini terus berdarah;
Aku lemah dan terhenti di pertengahan

Hadirlah perempuan dalam hidupku,
Ciptaan tuhan untukku,
Takdir jodoh ku bersamamu selamanya;
Sehingga aku pergi menemuiNya

Untuk perempuanku…WARDINA

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

This year is my 5th wedding anniversary and for five consecutive years I've been married to my beloved hubby. To him, I am his 1st and last lover & as for me, he is my soal mate - the one person who really understands & who can stand arguing and listening to my nags. I'm grateful that despite the ups & downs, twists & turns, arguements & fights that we had faced through out our five years of marriage we are still united & our love for each other never fades.

Recently a good friend of mine, just divorced after a month plus of separation from her hubby. She shared most of her rough times from the separation & divorce with me. I listened & tried to lend a shoulder for her to cry on since she doesn't have anyone to turn to. I may not get a full understanding of what she'd to go thru but one thing that I'm certain of, I'm very grateful that 4JJI blessed my marriage to my hubby. Alhamdulillah, I still have a best friend to turn to during any mishaps ie my hubby and now I realise why 4JJI created men & women in total differences between them. Men are made to be stronger to protect women & women who are made with softer side instill in them to sooth the men during their mishaps and men & women are created with unique positive & negative elements or strengths & weaknesses to complement each other. For instance, women are more emotional but men are realist, so when a woman is facing an emotional situation the man is there to make her see the bright side of it and in a way soothes the woman.

Where am I leading this update? My point is a man's life is incomplete without a woman's presence in his life & vice-versa. Looking at my good friend's situation, I could never imagine how my life would be like without a husband to guide, assist & be by my side to face the obstacles of life. It could be said that I'm quite indipendent since I could drive myself to a place that I needed to go but I don't think that I'm strong enough to go thru this very challenging life especially with two boys under my belt.

The same goes with men. No matter how high their positions are at their offices and they may seem very organised at their work places but at home they still need women to handle their clothings. Not to mention attending to children that they breed. Most of the time, women had to answer the children's alarm in the middle of the night even though the women are exhausted of work. The abovementioned are not inclusive of the house-keeping & cooking part that women had to take charge of.

I'm not pointing finger to any party, my point is 4JJI created men & women to complement each other because what ever the weaknesses a man posseses will be complemented by a woman's strength & vice-versa. I'm totally against divorce, if possible I wish all married couples would live in joy for the rest of their life with their chosen life partner. The most important thing to bear in mind is, no matter how tough or difficult or challenging your obtacles is, your life partner is the best place for you to turn to.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Shape up 4 charity

Last Friday, 29th July at Cyberview Lodge resort the company that I'm working for launched the "Shape up 4 charity" programme. The programme aims to produce healthy workers by rewarding the team with highest dollar points with up to RM10k cash which is to be donated to a charity body. During the official launch we were all given a pocket file containing brochures on the programme, a CDROM on the 10,000 steps walking challenge, a measurement tape, a pedometer & a squeeze ball. Then, we were all divided into a few teams and given with some tasks to be completed within 2 hours. The tasks revolved around capturing photos of team members' posing as assigned. There were at least 8 photos potraying different task. The toughest assignment was to capture a photo with at least 3 team members balancing (on) sth. Me, & 3 other group members had to balance ourselves on the railing of a ram. You could clearly see me in theabove picture trying to balance myself. My position was the highest from the ground, so no one should mess around with me while I was perfoming this.

All tasks were completed within the time limit, so around 6.30 pm we were all gathered at the registration desk. We were ushered to the 'makan' place where we were supposed to answer trivia quiz before we were allowed to eat at around 7.15 pm. The food was great, almost all types of halal meat - you name it, there were chicken, beef, lamb, prawn, crab, & lobster. To the vegeterian, it was a wish come true when they learnt that the ever heavanly mozarella cheese was among the main dish for them. I helped myself to all the meat except for crab (susah la nk mkn ketam). Once, I was done with the meat, I went on to try the vegetarian dish just to balance out the types of food that I took that nite. Next, I picked a few of the desserts - the rich indulging & moist chocolate cake, caramel pudding & some fruits. After finishing the desserts I was really full, and I said to a team member who was in the organising committee, "this is not shaping up, this is building up". She chuckled and told me that when she looked at the menu, she had the same expression.

At around 8.15 pm, I had to drag my legs to head home since my tummy was so full. I didn't wait for the rest of the team since I know that most of them would be heading straight to the club there. When I got home, I'd totally forgotten about the 10k-step thing - all staffs are supposed to walk up to 10k steps per day. Last night, it rang my bell & today I'm wearing the pedometer in order to record the 10,000 steps that I'm about to make today. My resolution from today onward is to reach that 10,000 amount & probably to get in shape. [even though I'm quite slim enough ;o) losing a few more inches won't do any harm I guess]