Family politics

Yesterday I had to leave my two boys at my parents' place, the main reason as usual - my baby-sitter was unavailable. So, I had to travel to & fro Cyberjaya - Subang. I had to spend a nite there so that I could head off to Cyberjaya after subuh. I got to office around 8.30 am. Then, at 5 pm sharp I started to pack my things to leave office just to avoid the heavy traffic in Sunway & Subang airport since I've promised my mom I'll try to get back early. She wanted me to send her to my aunt's place. She was complaining the nite before that she was furious with my dad who failed to send her off that nite. The main reason why my mom desperately needed to go to my aunt's place - her younger brother (my pak jang) & his family are in town, visiting the relatives here. I reached my parents' place a quater to 6. My mom was packing her stuffs when my dad asked her, 'are you spending the nite there?', 'yes', she said.

At 6, we left Subang and rushed to Shah Alam. I could clearly see the sad look on my dad's face. I know that look; I could sense his emptiness & loneliness whenever mom left him alone with my two younger brothers. I just don't understand what was wrong with my mom. I realise that my dad isn't a romantic type & sometimes not so gentleman but I'm firm that he loves my mom. It's just that my dad isn't romantic & doesn't wanna show off his love for her. Sometimes, my parents acted like strangers even though they've been married for almost 28 years. I always tell this to my mom, 'dad loves you, it's just that he's not romantic. he doesn't know how to portray his love for you'. Maybe it’s hard to let out romance between my parents because their marriage was a match-make.

Anyway, back to my aunt & pak jang. We reached her home when maghrib azan was recited. I totally forgot about her message I got earlier, reminding me to SMS her before we parted to her home. I just remembered about it when we got there, so I SMSed her to let her know that we were coming over. She replied, telling us that she took my pak jang & family to my cousin sister’s place in Keramat. Subang is like less than half-hour ride from Shah Alam, she could’ve have dropped by Subang before going to Keramat. I really don’t understand this aunt of mine, sometimes I think she’s a two-face. In my mom presence, she’d say good things bout my mom but she’d say bad things bout her in her back. My aunt treats our relatives back in kampung with respect and nicely but when it comes to treating my mom, sometimes she treated her like s**t. It’s not as if when my mom spends a few nite there, problems will be resolved nor could my mom sit back & relax from doing house chores since she’s away from home. I remembered, when my mom spent nites there, she helped my aunt to do all the chores from cleaning to doing the laundry – almost every single f**king thing, just name it. I think it’s much better off if my mom stays at home & entertain my dad’s needs, pahala pon dapat. You see, my aunt is a tailor. So whenever the raya season is back, she’d beg my mom to spend a few nites at her place to help her finish all the ‘baju tempahan raya’. To be frank, I’ve never really liked her. Maybe that’s why I rarely took my family to visit her, just getting sick & tired of the way she treats my mom.

The weird thing is, my mom would easily pour out her feelings & problems she was facing with my dad to this aunt. I don’t understand how could my mom trust her despite knowing her two-face nature. If I were in my mom shoes I’d never reveal marriage problems to any of my relatives. Whenever I face a crisis with my hubby, we’d talk things thru. I trust my hubby more than I trust my relatives. Marital problems should be resolved by husband & wife. There should be no interference from other parties especially relatives. I must admit that I sometimes express my dissatisfaction about my hubby to my mom, and my mom would remind me of the positive things in a marriage. I don’t like my mom to tell my aunt about her marital problems plainly because my aunt would never provide positive advices like my mom did to me. She’d only make things worse. Sometimes I feel like my mom depended too much on her relatives without knowing that all this while my dad was always there for her, no matter what the situation was. The only thing lacking in my dad is he isn’t romantic. It’s really hard to change a person, especially if he came from a family that doesn’t show off and portray act of love & passion for one another. I hope someday my dad will try to reveal the romantic sense in him so that things will get better between them.