2009 - A review

It's time to say good bye yet again to another year. Time seems to slip by without much notice. It passed by so quickly that I'd just realised that I'd spent nearly a third of my life being married to this man who loves me ever so dearly. I was going through the list of posts I'd written ever since I'd set up this blog and had come to realise that the number of posts deteriorated as the blog grew older. I'd been thinking that may be the time has come for this blog to be completely shut down as I no longer have the time to pen down my thoughts. There are so many things running through my head each day as I walk to and fro work and at that moment of time I felt that they should all be put into writings but by the time I had the chance to use the computer, those thoughts had either completely vanished or I'd given a second thought about sharing them with others and decided to bury them in my head instead.
Sometimes I feel I could no longer write as good as I used to. I remember being able to type effortlessly when I first started blogging. May be being in the thirty's category has put me off from expressing myself bluntly without thinking things thoroughly. Is this a sign that I'm getting older? And as one gets and feels older, does it guarantee one to become wiser? I'm not sure if I'm becoming any wiser than I was five years ago, but I'm certain that I'm facing the thirty-something crisis. In less than three weeks I'll be joining the thirty-something club. The more I think of it, the more I feel my dire need of achieving something in my life. I pray and hope that 2010 would be a good turning point in my thirty-plus life.

Friends reunited

Last few days, we had a good old friend of ours over for the Xmas break. She is one of our classmates whom we haven't met for 15 years. She now lives with Zurich, Swiss with her beloved hubby. It was good to finally be reunited with old friends. They bring back all those good old memories we once shared. I remember her very well cause I used to sit next to her when I was in Form 2. Thanks to her my written and spoken English has trumendously improved. I could vividly recall how we used to share our dinner during recess. During our festive season, we'd bring over our delicacies to be shared; I'd brought rendang and pulut for her and she'd gave me a box of mooncake. After two years being good mates, we then moved to different schools and went our separate ways. That was how we lost contact of each other. Who would have thought after 15 years of no news whatsoever, we'd bumped into each other on facebook and finally decided to meet up in Manchester. I look forward to paying her a visit sometimes next year. My dearest friend, it was so good to see you again.

It's Christmas

This is Nine's first entry for the coming festive season. I'm surprised at the age of 6, Nine could write effortlessly. Here's what Nine has written:

http://papan9.blogspot.com/2009/12/its-christmas.html

Thank you, all

Saturday 21st November, has been marked on our calendar as the most historical date of the year. This is the day when two of Papa's artwork together with his fellow artist friends is exhibited to the public of our local township. It also marked Papa's first participation in art event held outside of Malaysia. To some, the event and number of artwork featured may be small in size, but it meant a lot to Papa, me, Azhan and Nine as this is Papa's first baby step towards embarking the world of art.
I'm touched by the support shown by our Malaysian acquaintances here. The fact that they were willing to spend some of their valueable weekend hours with us at the gallery is highly appreciated. I feel indebted to their support. May God bless you all, always

I'm giving up

In the last month I have been actively hunting for work back home. The sudden urgency of wanting to secure a job back home is mainly due to my Mom's health. Ever since my sister told me about Mom's current condition, I feel desperately in need of returning home to tend to my loving mother. Guilt and terrified kept haunting me lately as the word of death is uttered more frequently by my mom. And each time she raises this, I'd hush her and convince her that she'll soon be fine as long as she sticks to the doctor's advice.

This kind of situation sometimes makes me regret of forcing my darling hubby into moving to England. Back then, I thought England would promise a brighter future for us. Wonderful memories of others who'd previously lived in England blinded me into thinking that this island is the best place for us to be. What a dream!

The online job hunting site tells me that all my job applications have been turned down and my CV is apparently being kept for future reference. And I don't how soon that future is. It's quite frustrating that all the efforts put into polishing and updating the CV didn't bear any fruit of success. This frustration is leading me back to my dormant status. To add insult to injury, current working situation gets worse as my colleague starts to dump her work load onto my lap. I empathise her being underpaid and overworked but she should understand that we are in the same boat. My status is no better than hers.

These negative vibes at work and emotional turbulences sometimes really exhaust my inner self. They wear me out that I feel may be I should just give up, leave everything be and let God's fate decides what's best for me.

People matter

I haven't been sewing lately but I'm not slacking either. For the past few weeks, my head have been buried in swamps of books just like my old days back in varsity. There are three main areas that I'm reading on; management, fashion styling, and career development. One book that really strikes my interest is a book called, "Everything I need to know about being a manager, I learned from my kids". As a management graduate blessed with two children, I could easily relate to every story featuring his three young sons. But the most appalling of all I've learnt that every single management don'ts told in this book is by and large put to practice at the organisation I'm working for. Sitting at the bottom level of a hierarchy, has given me the opportunity to observe every single mistake made by the company's top gun.
Watching some of the most educated and experienced people in the business make mistake amazes me sometimes. I guess all those years they'd spent in their own room with a panel window, have somehow made them forgot about the importance of every little person who in the least way have contributed towards the success of the organisation. I'm sure sometimes in their varsity years, they'd been taught that managing a business is really about managing people, and within any organisation the people matter most. Sure, maintaining company's profitability is the utmost importance of all but like it or not every manager must realise that the people are the ones who helped move the company one step towards its ultimate target.

I don't despise the management for treating us as if we're all dispensable but I'm sad that an organisation that boasts on being the nation's pride, is in minimal communication with its people. These silly unnoticeable mistakes mounted up to my patience wearing thinner with every working day that passes by. This unconventional finding however reminded me of the importance of people that were frequently highlighted by my post grad lecturers. I just hope someday I would finally land a managerial post and would be one who looks and treats everyone like VIP regardless of their background.

Why do you want a career as a Retail Manager in the fashion industry

If you were asked the above question at an interview, how would you answer it? I'm in the midst of attempting to draft my answer for the above question. To be honest, I'm having great difficulty in expressing my thoughts on the above. It's not easy claiming to be passionate about something but could hardly describe it in words. Should I begin with how I reacted towards clothes and fashion since I was little and how obsessive I've become ever since? Or should I address the question technically? Leaving job hunting dormant for a couple of years made me realise how formalistic and boring I sound in writing official matters. How do you inject a little taste of your personality into something formal?