Mood swing

Recently I've been feeling down at work I think mainly because the thrill and excitement I used to feel is starting to wear off. I've recognised my working pattern. Every time I'm assigned a new task, I'd be very excited upon the thought of gaining new skill and knowledge at work. I'm always thrilled with the challenges that this new task would bring with it. After months of doing the same thing, and I know exactly what to expect or anticipate the cause of such outcome, I no longer find the job adventurous and in need of something new to excite me again.

Another contributing factor to my current misery is last Thursday's incident. The company that I work for had just opened up a new branch in the States and its operation is very much similar to the Head Office. Thus, the staff will be using the same system that we use here and they need to be trained and familiarised with it. As one of the account assistant explained all the different funtions available on the system, our Financial Controller then further added about the office's future plan for one of my colleague's career there. As soon as I heard this, I felt very demotivated to work anymore knowing the fact that they don't see me in their future plan. It hurts even more when I know that my colleague is less competent than me. I think they're oblivious of my true potential simply because I'm not a native speaker.

With the new company structure introduced early this year, I was moved to the Finance department due to my work nature that is seen as more finance-related. When I first moved there I was optimist that this is the move that'll guarantee a better career prospect. But the longer I spend time in Finance, the more I realise I don't belong in the department. Not because I'm incompetent or incapable of doing finance work but I just can't see where myself sit within the company structure anymore. I'm neither a retail team nor am I a finance staff. In simple word, I don't feel welcome in the company anymore.

I just don't understand why wouldn't they realise the importance of my role. If it wasn't for me, who would ensure the smooth flow of the system used by our retail shop, or monitor stock inventory, or help the shop out when the system freezes? My observation tells me that many of the staff there are not very computer literate. Even a spreadsheet with simple formula used would freak them out what more of complicated ones with formulas and functions that are rarely used. I'm proud to say that as an IT-graduate I know all Office applications like the back of my hand and not afraid of using new applications.

The other day I really felt like going up to my superior and express my dissatisfaction and my need of new assignment. I guess this urge for new thrilling and adventurous task is due to the fact that I'm no longer a twenty-odd employee. I've hit the THREE-O and I need to thrive and give my all out right now so that I'll be able to achieve my personal target within the next five years. My heart is bursting with frustation and grieve over my current employment that doesn't seem promising at the minute. These frustrations sometimes lead me to regret our move here. But when my better judgment is not clouded with grieve and sadness, I'm convinced that this move would guarantee a better placement when we return home for good as the employment experience here would work to my advantage. I could only pray to the Al-Mighty that my hopeful thinking would be blessed and granted someday.