Regret Remorse Sorrow

I can't help feeling regret for returning to my own homeland, to be close to my dearest mummy. I regret coming back to the land I love. True, I could see mummy more often than the last four years but what's the point of returning when my family and me are only treated like slaves. My children are often labelled as stupid by a few of their friends at school for thinking ahead of others with their creative mind. How could a-nine-year-old start diminish others with name-calling? Where did they pick up this horrid habit? Could it be from the television, or their parents who maybe more often than not belittle their own child's talent and wise thinking.

Since my sayang started working for his new employer here, he's never failed to return home later than 8pm. Today, he's still at work despite the clock showing 1.50 am. I could understand the logic of him having to stay back a little later at work as he'll be off from work for about a week for the coming Eid. But don't you think it's a little too late. We'll be heading off to my sayang's parents early tomorrow morning. Does it not occur to her that he'd need the rest for our long journey tomorrow? It's not rocket science, is it? (This post was drafted the night before we departed to Penang)

Before I return here, I said to myself that I'll never ever regret our decision of coming back because this is where we belong. But the longer I spend my time here, I can't help but feel regret of coming home. What kind of home is this? Home to me is where one finds peace, happiness and joy. But I haven't felt those feelings since I arrived. Yes, I was happy the moment my big family was reunited somehow though the longer I reside here, the longer I yearn to go back to our simple life back in Bury. Even my boys are starting to miss Bury. I guess this is the price that we have to pay to be closer to our big family. My only hope is that our homeland would grow into a better country for the sake of our future generations.

A new chapter

September 3rd 2010, marked a new chapter in my life as a wife. The date signifies that I'd spent a third of my life devoting my love for the man I married ten years ago. Sure, our ride towards the 10th year wasn't always dandy. It was sometimes accompanied by turbulent, thunder and horrifying things but somehow or rather with my partner, Fadz's patience's we made it to that magic number 10. All those horrible experiences were not the only thing we shared, but there were beautiful and joyous moments we'd shared too which made us a strong couple. Knowing that Fadz would always be there for me made our journey pleasurable and the pains more endurable.
I was never a good wife. There were even times when I misbehaved or even forgotten my place and here I'd like to apologise openly if I'd broken your heart, brought misery into your life and led you astray. But, believe me dear Fadz, being with you is the best thing that had ever happen to me. Let us now put the past behind and start a new chapter together.

Change; the time is now

12 October was the first day of my boys schooling in Malaysia. They were excited about going back to school after being away from the education institute for nearly four months. Thrilled were they that they woke up as early as 5.30 in the morning.

At quarter to 8, we arrived at their new school. After getting them registered and sending them to their new classrooms, my partner and I drove home before we head back to their school during their recess period to ensure that they'd adjust well to the new environment. The condition of the place where the school children dine really shocked us. I thought to myself, how could the school management let the children dine is such condition. True, from afar the school looks rather brand new and quite clean but when one zooms in and carefully inspects the school especially the canteen, it was quite horrifying. The tables where they put their food were not thoroughly wiped and clean. You could easily spot traces of bird poos, dust and stains on the table top. I'm not surprised if someday one of these kids would come home sick of diarrhoea.

The nightmare was far from over. We then went to observe the food offered for the kids. I have to say I was appalled by the selection of menu. There is nothing nutritious for the kids to opt for. Carbohydrate was the only nutrient contained in all of the food; plain curry noodles with nothing but plain curry, no meat or any other protein source offered here; nasi lemak with a fraction of boiled egg and a slice of cucumber; laksa - well there might be little traces of fish in the gravy, but I doubt they'd cooked it with lots of fish. What about the refreshment? I couldn't find any fruits in the selection let alone hi-cal drinks. Clearly the drinks were just syrup with ice cubes. So, tell me this, what exactly did these kids gain from these selection of food?

I don't mean to gloat or diminish the not-so privileged primary school but shouldn't there be a guideline for food provider at the canteen to adhere to e.g the nutritional ingredients to be included? Back in England, I remember seeing the school dinner menu consisting of all the essential nutrients that children need. In fact, their menu changes on a daily basis. What was served yesterday, wouldn't be served today. That's the way to attract kids to eat good nutritious food, no?

May be it is time for the ministry of education to look into this matter. This is not a political topic but rather an important issue needing urgent solution. How long are we going to jeopardise the well-being of our children for the sake of some political agenda? After all kids are our future leaders. Call me crazy, but I believe that what we feed them today, will determine their future growth and in one way or another influence the fitness of their mind. As goes the saying by Ludwig Feuerbach; (A) Man is what he eats.